A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I saw a post today on another Widow site that I belong to and thought I'd share what I wrote after I saw it.
The first line reads
Grief is not an illness,
The rest I've…Continue
My mom in tears told me our dog had died…I was 11 my heart was breaking
My mom in tears tells me my grandpa has died…I was 15 my heart was breaking
My mom in anger tells me all that my father is not part of our family…my heart is confused
My mom in tears tells me my grandma has died…I was 16 my heart was lost
My daughter was born…I was 19 my heart was full
My sons were born…my heart is bursting with love
My husband leaves us all…I was 27 my…Continue
I recently realized I don’t have to answer to my friends, family, or community. I can and will make decisions about my life without their permission, well wishes, advice or other unsolicited concerns. How I live my life is up to me.
God is wiser than any financial adviser, thera…Continue
Since I was a little girl I have always looked forward to the Christmas season. In my church tradition it all starts with advent; the hope for the coming Savior. We prepare our hearts and homes for Christmas. Candles are lite and songs are sung. We had pageants in our schools back then so would practice silent night and away in the manger. I remember the joy of the season getting to see family all together, my cousin Billy coming down the stairs as Santa, somehow…Continue
I remember Christmas’s past long ago. The choir practices, the sleepy children to tuck in after church and the snow. Christmas’s at grandma’s house. Songs sung in blue mini buses driving to and fro; Christmases with my mom here; Christmases missing her; Christmases with new grandchildren almost every year. Last Christmas we were sick with the flu, but even then great grandpa came…unfortunately he got it too .
Christmas is coming and so much has changed. No deep rich…Continue
I love this time of year, the changing leaves, the smells, the storms, and the dampness in the air. There’s a taste in the air, a taste of harvest apples and pumpkins, of coming snows, and of cold wet winds. You can hear it walking through the leaves, in the trees whispering and sometimes shouting winter is coming time to slow down, time to think of things that have been. It is a time…Continue
Mark's birthday was a beautiful fall day, foggy as I was driving out to the cemetery. The fog started to lift as I got closer you could see blue sky and then gray again. But it was still so peaceful. When I got to the cemetery I noticed I had 2 text messages one from my daughter Krsytal saying I love you, mom. The next was from my DIL she is in the hospital waiting for baby Jaxson to get a little bigger so he could be born. She had sent me a picture of Jaxson (the new baby) with his face…Continue
It’s all around me
In my dog’s smile, in my daughter-in-law’s hugs
She gets me she’s grieving too.
My neighbors who are widowed share their books and stories they get me too.
My neighbors let my grandson play all day and laugh.
My friends call and call and don’t give up. They come and help me clean…Continue
All I have is hope
Hope for peace
Hope for a life that has purpose
Hope for companionship
But my hope is like dry sand,
it is easily blown away
and holds no shape
Then I add faith
and the wind ceases to blow
I can feel the peace
Then I add love
and hope takes shape
I can find purpose in life
For I now have companionship on the journey
Thank you Widville…Continue
I’ve always been one to believe in the magic of second chances. When something goes wrong, there may always be opportunity awaiting me around the corner…when God closes a door, he opens a window…all of those types of ideas have been a staple in my life. Practice make perfect, there’s always tomorrow and don’t give up have always been a piece of my repertoire. Dave was my second chance at a happy marriage…and I was his. We had both been married before and it took us a long time and much…Continue
This journey of grief is in constant flow, like a river, its convolutions difficult to follow. No matter how far I come along in my path, there still seems to be times where the grief is overwhelming. The days, months, and years that have passed since the awful June night sometimes seem like mere seconds to me. I get dizzy and feel like I am in The Twilight Zone, trapped in some bizzare alternate reality. My heart feels suffocated by the pain. I can't induldge in this grief though, I…Continue
This holiday season has been a bit different for me. I am feeling ok…even better than ok most days. The sense that I am beginning to thrive again is sinking into my soul. Our seventh Christmas since he died, our eighth Christmas since cancer struck, my first Christmas not completely taken back by his absence. Each year has been different. Every Christmas growth has occurred. From the first Christmas when we left town because I knew I would not be able to handle a Christmas morning…Continue
Several years ago, after much thought, I decided to create a blog that chronicled my journey through widowhood. It was my hope that by putting my thoughts and words on page one less person would feel alone on their own journey of loss. It was my hope that it would lead to healing…mine… and maybe someone else too. It was the next natural step for my writing. I had written for magazines and other people’s blogs, but I wanted a specific place to share my challenges and successes, my growth…Continue
My smile, my tears, the expressions I use...they are a reflection. So many of the people in my world never met Yuri, yet somehow feel a connection to him. I think of Yuri regularly and how he would fit in this new world I live in. He would be so proud of me. In reality, I know I may not have ever met most of the…Continue
Thanksgiving is on its way, with other holidays right on its heels, and it seems that during this time our losses are amplified. In light of that, I'd like to offer up some resources that may be helpful to you at this time.
First, Griefsgiving. After seeing post after post on Facebook from people sharing what they are thankful for (including their spouses, etc.) at this time of…Continue
You can live.
You can go on.
You can go on without your dead partner.
It may be hard as hell for a while, but you can do it.
You can live.
A few years…