All Blog Posts Tagged 'sadness' (6)

In two days it will be 18 months since I lost my husband of 20 years of marriage to a rare cancer, leaving me to raise our teen son alone.  And here I am wondering why I'm so burdened with sadness and despair, and why I keep bursting into tears. A phrase I saw years ago: "The mind tries to forget, but the heart always remembers."

It is not just the approach of Father's Day that is bringing up the sadness. I realized it was the memories of what happened two years ago during the month…

I am learning a new way to move through this life I now have (I didn't want it, but  I have it anyway).  Its choreography is "messed up", as my teenage students would say.  If there is a rhythm to it, I haven't discovered it yet.   It's two steps forward, one step back.  Two steps back, one step forward.  Often there are long pauses with no movement.  Sometimes I step sideways.  Let me describe it.

I get up, pay the bills, go to work.  Interact with my coworkers as if my life…

To all the widowed people I have known:  please forgive me.  I did not know how much pain you were feeling.  I didn't know that you would feel like you were having a heart attack, because the pressure and pain in your chest was so intense.  I did not know that you would be so exhausted just with the effort of walking through the day.  I didn't know you were frightened of suddenly being responsible for EVERYTHING, yet being unable to think clearly or nake decisions.  I didn't know that your…

Today, I finished my book!  My fingers have been dancing across the keyboard for three days straight.  How did I finally get the "source" and knowledge to spew onto the monitor and into the computer?



It wasn't easy.  Two weeks ago, I had 18 chapters.  I was planning on dedicating a couple hours each day.  I got distracted, it was easy to find something else to focus on.  I still felt incomplete. 



Tosha Silver, a columnist/Astrologer for the examiner.com invited me and my…

This is the first time I have ever blogged so if I get it wrong I am sorry.  Today is 8/9/11.

Yesterday was 3 months since my husband my lover my friend passed away.

I only recently found this place and I can't thank you all enough for creating it.  It helps…

I eat--but do not taste

I sleep--but do not rest

I see--but do not recognize

I listen--but do not hear…