All Blog Posts Tagged 'widow' (26)

I am not really sure where my husband went off to. He died. Yes. But it never feels that way. It feels as if he were part of some horrible magic trick in some terrible, cheesy Vegas act. One second – here. The next second – gone. POOF! Magic! It feels as though I took a nap, and then woke up and he went missing, never to be seen again. He died while I was asleep. Asleep. Im not sure that I will ever know how to process that. Im not sure that I want to. I am sure that there…

My dear, sweet Vern left this earth 2 years ago today. I miss him. I miss him every moment of every day. But I am finding my way into this new life. It's not easy. Oh boy, it's not easy. I have to really push myself. But I'm doing it. Because I promised him I would.…

I sat in the early spring sun here in Australia. Sitting on the chair on the porch where my husband always sat during the last year of his life and my memory went back in time and I wrote this

Sitting in the Sun



The old man sits in the sheltered corner

Protected from the ice cold winds

The sun warms his old bones

As his faded blue eyes scan the garden



He watches the dogs…

My Husband died 4/4/12 and yesterday my Mother died. I have a hard time staying in my house without my Husband.  I'm not ready to move/sell anything yet. Now my Mother died and I'm feeling that I should take her 12 yr old heart broken dog but then I can't really leave my house for long. I'm really numb and not capable yet of making a good decision on this. I have a week or so. My Mom's friends are watching the dog and I check on him twice a day at Mom's house.

Well today a dream came true for me and it's been one that has take so many years that I never thought it would happen. Today I published my first two books. They are not perfect, but that is all part of self publishing I will know what not to do next time.

For those that would like to read them they are available here:…

Sleepless night, first year anniversary of my Gerry's passing. I spent the day with friends. I went to our local chapter of Band Of Brothers,(he was a Marine) then went to Korean War Veterans Memorial, for some one on one time. Had dinner with some church friends. Then some one on one time with a special friend :)

I couldn't sleep, it was like I didn't want this day to end, still don't and its 3:15 am. What the heck!! 

I know from being on here for the last few months that we…

I’ve always been one to believe in the magic of second chances.  When something goes wrong, there may always be opportunity awaiting me around the corner…when God closes a door, he opens a window…all of those types of ideas have been a staple in my life.  Practice make perfect, there’s always tomorrow and don’t give up have always been a piece of my repertoire.  Dave was my second chance at a happy marriage…and I was his. We had both been married before and it took us a long time and much…

This is for those of you who have friends and family that want to help but dont know how to. print this out and give it to them.



HOW YOU CAN HELP ME 



Please talk…

There’s an exercise that apparently is quite commonly assigned by grief counselors as part of individual and group therapy sessions. It involves writing a letter to your deceased spouse to say all the things you’re holding inside. You’re suppose to get all your emotions out on paper, all the “woulda’s, shoulda’s and coulda’s” and then you’re suppose to tear the letter into little pieces and throw it away. No more guilt, no more regrets. Wow, life is so simple when you follow the class…

It's been awhile I have posted here, and I know it's time to remember WHY I'm in this group.  You see...we are a select group of friends, all journeying through a significant change in our lives.  Reminding each other that the road ahead is  going to be bumpy, it is very consoling.  Yes, we do have loved ones and immediate friends there to assist us, but do they truly understand our grief?  It can be so overpowering and makes us feel like we are in a twilight zone.  

They hold…

Several years ago, after much thought, I decided to create a blog that chronicled my journey through widowhood.  It was my hope that by putting my thoughts and words on page one less person would feel alone on their own journey of loss.  It was my hope that it would lead to healing…mine… and maybe someone else too.  It was the next natural step for my writing.  I had written for magazines and other people’s blogs, but I wanted a specific place to share my challenges and successes, my growth…

Se*man*tics (noun) 1. the study of meaning in language – the study of how meaning in language is created by the use and interrelationships of words, phrases, and sentences.

There are words in our language that are so well known we don’t have to define them to anyone when we speak.  When I say, husband, wife, significant other, love interest, boyfriend, girlfriend, and even widow, people know what I mean.  We know that these words define relationships for us.  We know that these words…

Sometimes remembering comes at a cost. Remembering is the hardest thing for me. Most days I can go about my business and not think that this is my real life. Some days, I can just pretend I had a bad dream. A dream that I will awaken from and he will still be here with me. A dream that will end with me waking up and looking at the empty side of the bed and it’s not empty any more… there he is! He didn’t abandon me. He didn’t die.

Remembering always comes with pain. It only sometimes…

Folded Newspaper sits in my wallet. It has yet to yellow or become brittle, it's still too new.

I pull it out from time to time and read the very few lines that sum up my husband's life. It says his age, his occupation and where he died. The part that seems to burn and be written in bold is where it says who he left behind.

A few names. It seems so insignificant.

But all I see when I look at is a few names that weren't important enough to live for. To fight for.…

Found this old self portrait while I was trying to find a picture to describe how I feel right now.

First of all I am on no sleep. It’s been weeks since I can honestly say I have slept well and now I am on the “One Step” rule.

One step in front of the other, little movements forward…yet, I feel I get no where. I am exhausted with the effort of everything that seems to need to be done…

Hey all you fabulous 2011 Camp Widow attendees!  If you missed Michele's chat tonight, here's the notes I took. If you're attending, be sure to RSVP the Camp Widow 2011 Event over on the right-hand side of the home page.

• REGISTRATION - opens at noon on Friday
  
  
  • Camp Widow registration is on the 3rd level at the top of the escalators.
  • Escalators are located to the left of the hotel registration desk, past the Starbucks
  • There will be TRUFFLES at…