All of us remember where we were at certain events in our lives. Who doesn't remember exactly where you were on September 11, 2011? I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when my brother called me to tell me he was asking his girlfriend to marry him.
I like to talk to people and strike up conversations with just about anybody. Right now, there are days when I’m better at it than others. I really hate telling people I’m a widow. I still wear my wedding ring on my left hand so it appears that I am married. When "the truth" comes out, I feel bad revealing that my husband passed away. Of course, the obligatory "I’m sorry" is said, the deer in the headlights look appears, and suddenly the…Continue
As the two month anniversary of my husband’s passing approaches, I find myself still trying to get my arms around how I feel. The one word that keeps coming to mind is raw.
This weekend I spent time doing something my husband liked to do--mow. He always enjoyed the "zoning out" and the time to think that these activities afforded him. I did not always view it that way. I mowed years ago, but once we moved to Virginia, he did it all.
I mowed six…Continue
The bed seems so much larger now that I am the only one trying to sleep in it. Before my husband was ill, our bedtime ritual was to cuddle, sometimes talk, kiss, and then retreat to our pillows. Both of us hovered towards the middle of the bed though, always within arm's reach.
As the cancer progressed…Continue
I eat--but do not taste
I sleep--but do not rest
I see--but do not recognize
I listen--but do not hear…Continue
In my wondering through the empty house today, I came across a box full of shoes that I had never unpacked and put in my closet. As I pulled pair after pair out, memories of my husband came flooding back. This pair he bought for our kayaking. Another pair of hiking shoes to go with the many he had already gotten me.
I came upon a pair I bought for casual Fridays at work. Dick hated them. He said they were ugly and matronly. They were so comfortable though. |pulled them…Continue