A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Dear Dead Don,
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get used to your lack of presence in the house? How hard it is to want to share something with you only to realize I have to tell it to thin air? Darn you, Don! Why did you have to die? I wasn’t finished loving you just yet! And who am I going to yell at for leaving the top off the toothpaste or not picking up the dog's toys at bedtime.
But I’m being strong. You’d be proud of that. I’m taking care of…Continue
I woke up this morning before the rooster crowed---assuming I had a rooster which I don’t---and I started reading articles on grief. The first thing I learned in one titled Emotional Jet Lag is that grief is like "having your brain filled up with three quarts of molasses” and grieving people shouldn’t use power tools. Damn, I’ll have to put off buying that new circular saw I’ve been lusting after since Don’s death.
Then I read an article titled I’m Fine and…Continue
The Presence Of The Absence Is Everywhere.
Edna St.Vincent Millay
Did anyone in my age bracket escape studying the works of Edna St. Vincent Millay? I didn’t and she came to touch my life again, all these decades later thanks to a fellow blogger on this site and google. Apparently the above quote by this celebrated poet is commonly used in grief circles to describe a feeling that most widows and widowers have but can’t…Continue
This morning I ran across this question on a widows’ support site: When do you start referring to your spouse as your ‘late husband’ or ‘late wife’? It was being asked by someone who’d lost their spouse six months ago. It’s a serious question that evokes a lot of soul searching regarding when you’re ready to let go of the past and let someone else come into your life and other things I’m not far enough into this journey, yet, to understand. But when I first read the question I started…Continue
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”
Christopher Robin to Winnie-the-Pooh
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”…Continue
Two days in a row. Just call me the Weepy Widow. If I were younger I’d use PMS as an excuse for the tears that are flowing like a Champagne fountain on New Year’s Eve. I did better in the first two weeks after Don’s passing than I’m now as I approach the two months mark. What’s wrong with me?
“I’ll tell you!” that damn voice in my head is whispering. “You’re running out of things on your Must-Do list---nothing left to focus on, nothing left to make you feel in control. The fog…Continue
Last week I got my first ever professional pedicure. It felt good to be pampered with the hot towels, a mud mask, nail shaping and callus removal. Even the silliness of having my toenails painted was fun although you’d have to look real hard to see the fleshed colored enamel. The only down side to getting them done was the sticker shock. I can’t believe I just paid $45 plus tip to do something I’ve been doing for myself all of my life.
What does toe nail pampering…Continue