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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Soaring Spirits's Blog (53)

We Need to be Human, Together by Michele Neff Hernandez

Michele posted these words on her Facebook page this morning and I felt they were important to share here. 

I've been thinking over the past several weeks about hate.

Each time a new attack on humanity is perpetrated, my heart just aches, and a feeling of helplessness looms. How do we combat this kind of hate? When you aren't sure from which corner or from what source violence will suddenly assault your mind, your heart, and for…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on July 28, 2016 at 10:51am — 4 Comments

Holiday Management Tips for Anyone Grieving the Loss of Someone They Love This Holiday Season

  • Give yourself permission to feel how you feel about a particular holiday, or the holidays in general. Mixed feelings are normal too...you may find yourself okay one day and not okay the next. Try to go with the emotional flow.
  • Don't be afraid to consider doing something totally different for this year or one for one particular holiday. You are living with changes to your holidays that you didn't choose...why not make some you do choose?
  • Feel free to add tears to any…
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Added by Soaring Spirits on December 13, 2015 at 10:36pm — 3 Comments

Awkward: A conversation in year 6 of widowhood

First grade assignment. (She's a much better writer…
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Added by Soaring Spirits on March 13, 2013 at 1:16pm — 7 Comments

Pet Peeve: Boundaries

I'm participating in the Widowed Blog Hop this month. Be sure to check out the other participants and leave them some comment love. For the largest list of blogs by Widowed folks, check my blog roll here. To add yours to the list,…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on February 13, 2013 at 7:00am — 31 Comments

Kevin's salad (recipe)

I'm participating in the Widowed Blog Hop this month. Be sure to check out the other participants and leave them some comment love. For the largest list of blogs by Widowed folks, check my blog roll here. To add yours to the list,…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on February 13, 2013 at 6:30am — 1 Comment

Say his name: the #1 tip, and my reality





A long time ago, I wrote this post in draft. It didn't get very far.



But the topic is MY NUMBER ONE TIP for how to help a widowed person: SAY THEIR NAME. And it's also why I HATE that everyone ELSE thinks the number one…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on February 13, 2013 at 6:30am — 5 Comments

Kids and the School Shootings: 7 Tips Left Out of EVERY Article I've seen

I couldn't keep silent.

Tell your kids you…
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Added by Soaring Spirits on December 15, 2012 at 8:30am — 4 Comments

Everything Possible: video and thoughts on marriage and death



In our state, we will be voting a referendum on whether same sex couples will have the right to marry. My church's denomination has been a big advocate for marriage equality, and yesterday we sang this song in hopes of the referendum's success…
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Added by Soaring Spirits on November 5, 2012 at 5:30pm — 4 Comments

Blog hop master post: Widowed people review "Go On," new NBC Matthew Perry sitcom about grieving people



About a week ago I posted a call for entries for a blog carnival of

reviews by widowed people of the new Matthew Perry sitcom "Go…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on October 4, 2012 at 5:00pm — 1 Comment

Review: “Go On,” new NBC/Matthew Perry sitcom about a young widower, is not crazy

Earlier this fall, NBC premiered “Go On,” a new sitcom featuring Matthew Perry (of “Friends” megafame) as a young widowed man. There’s been a low buzz in my communities about our being “represented” in prime time, but I don’t watch much TV and never liked “Friends.” I tried to sit out “doing something” to engage widowed people on the show. But the din grew too loud, and much of it was from outside: “What do widowed people think of Go On? Is this a realistic look into what your life is…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on October 3, 2012 at 8:30am — 2 Comments

Join the blog hop: Widowed people review NBC's "Go On" sitcom

A new NBC sitcom features Matthew Perry of "Friends" mega fame as a young widowed sportscaster. People keep asking me, "what do widowed people think of the show?"



I don't want to say too much about my personal take on the show -- yet * -- but there have already been a few blog reviews by members of my communities and circles so I thought it would make sense to do a Linky, blog hop, blog carnival, or whatever of our thoughts on the show.



I'll be creating a new post in the…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on October 1, 2012 at 2:00pm — 7 Comments

The butterfly metaphor: leftover goop





We LOVE to use the butterfly when we talk about people dying or people being transformed in huge ways. But nobody talks about the bloody goop that's part of the process of metamorphosis.



Because, I…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on September 7, 2012 at 6:21pm — 2 Comments

Come to Camp Widow or help someone get there... THREE giveaways!

Wow.... I started a little avalanche.... I…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on July 22, 2012 at 5:26pm — No Comments

Dating a Widower, compared to Dating a Divorced Man

My friend and colleague Abel Keogh writes a popular column on his blog, and runs several areas on Facebook, about the perils and pitfalls experienced by women who choose to date widowed men.



I have various quibbles…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on July 18, 2012 at 12:39pm — 3 Comments

Note from Evelyn on an anniversary

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The End of a Long Day, 1982, by Kevin…
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Added by Soaring Spirits on July 9, 2012 at 12:30pm — No Comments

Grieving Adam Yauch: An Inside/Outside Perspective



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Because I was in the circle of the Beastie Boys early in life, I am in a few Facebook groups grieving the loss of Adam Yauch. I was not close to him, but…
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Added by Soaring Spirits on May 11, 2012 at 12:30pm — No Comments

Camp Widow: First East Coast Event. A review.

This was the first time we held Camp Widow on the East Coast. It can be hard to explain what we do there, and the words "bonding" and "learning," while true and important, just seem so pale. To give you some idea of the impact of bonding and learning in real life, it might help if I tell you the most common phrases in the 
event reviews tend to be "life saving," "totally amazing," and "thank you." Or I could…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on May 8, 2012 at 7:30am — 6 Comments

Camp Widow East: I sent a note to the sea





We did a ritual at Camp Widow East 2012, for the first time. A secular, all ages, all stages participatory event that was like nothing I'd ever seen. This is after two full days of being among ONLY widowed people, learning, bonding,…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on May 2, 2012 at 5:00pm — 5 Comments

Postcard from Camp Widow East

Well, I am here at the first ever Camp Widow East coast. Just like at every event at every hotel, we are cobbling together internet service between wifi cards and the hotel's official service and 3G from an occasional iPad.

It is kind of amazing to me to see the DOZENS of Widowed Village members who are here in person. We have a cool booth and are greeting everyone who walks by. I like this space -- we have a smallish area in the hotel and it's easier to find people (like when we need…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on April 20, 2012 at 8:10am — 4 Comments

Schedule A: The Anal Retentive Widow

Look what I found while hunting for this year's tax information.... Notes from the anal-retentive widow, who used to do her taxes herself. Wait, I'm talking about myself in the third person again... which, I suppose, is only appropriate? It sure feels that someone else prepared this spreadsheet....was I this organized once? On the other hand, this remained buried the past five plus years. (On the other other hand, that's what we DO with yesteryear's tax schedules, isn't…

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Added by Soaring Spirits on March 18, 2012 at 6:23pm — 2 Comments

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