How was that even possible? I know better. I've been processing…Continue
The magical way Vern and I found one another has always made me believe it was divine guidance that brought us together. He chose me. Me? Yes, me! That just turned 18 year old kid who knew deep down inside her that life had more in store than what she could see. But she was too afraid to take a chance and came so very, very close to settling for something that would have been such a huge mistake.
Oh, the summer of ’69. One little change of course. Not so little actually.
Michele Neff Hernandez, my friend and the amazing woman who created…Continue
So it's apparently "news" that Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook's COO, may be dating less than a year after her husband's death. Really? Why is that any of our business? And why on earth are people being so judgmental in their comments? This is her life. She does not need your permission to date nor does she need…Continue
If I had written this post when I first arrived home last evening, it would have had a different theme. I was on a super high after spending 4 days in Folly Beach, South Carolina at an ArtBeach Retreat. A beautiful beach house, butterflies, amazing art lessons, sunrises that take your breath away, wonderful women, daily dolphin visits, yoga on the beach,…Continue
I honestly don't recall the last time I remembered a dream. Before Vern got sick I had vivid dreams and remembered them all. But during the cancer years I didn't sleep much and when I did it was for very short periods of time. He needed me a lot during the nights and I guess I never had enough time to get into that 'dream' sleep. My body apparently got used to that and it became my routine even after Vern died.
I've envied my widow friends who share amazing…
I've passed the 3 year mark ... sounds like a long time. But it doesn't always feel like a long time. And yet, some days it feels like forever .... I miss him.
When someone asks how long it's been and they hear '3 years' I usually see the…Continue
I really expected this year wouldn't be quite so hard ... that my thoughts wouldn't take me back to this day 3 years ago ... the last day he was here in this house. The day I had to call 911 for the final time. But it has. The sadness. The heaviness. It seems to reside in my heart and burst forth even before I realize what the date is. Perhaps it will always be like this. An annual rewind of one of the most important weeks of my life.…Continue
Holidays are still not good days for me. Guess it's just that my 'aloneness' seems emphasized and I find myself missing Vern more on these days. So I do my best to just ignore them. Stay inside, no TV, let the day pass unnoticed. Almost. And maybe this one was rough because it was just a couple of days after my return from Camp Widow. A bit of a Camp crash…Continue
Michele Neff Hernandez, the founder and Executive Director of Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation (SSLF), wrote this blog today on Widow's Voice to recognize the 5 year anniversary of Soaring Spirits. The Widowed Village community, Widow's Voice blog and Camp Widow are all SSLF programs. I've posted the first two paragraphs and a link to the full blog below. It is worth reading ... and knowing that you are a part of this amazing community.
"We mark anniversaries relatively…Continue
Michelle has asked that we help Soaring Spirits collect some data to prove that the SSLF programs (Widowed Village, Camp Widow, Widow's Voice) DO make a difference for widowed people.
Please ... when you have an extra 20 minutes or so ... would you click on this link and complete the survey? And feel free to share with…Continue
I've updated my personal blog with some thoughts about Camp Widow, but really must first include a link here to an amazing blog post from Kelley Lynn. Kelley was one of the speakers at the recent Myrtle Beach camp and is the Friday blogger on Soaring Spirits' Widow's Voice blog. Here's a link: …Continue
SSLF Board Member, Janine Eggers, wrote this blog for Widow's Voice on March 20, 2013. It is powerful. Michele Neff Hernandez has nominated her for BlogHer's Voice of the Year.
If you'd like to vote, too - here's a link: http://www.blogher.com/times-you-want-stop
... and here is where you'll find Janine's original blog with all of the comments: …Continue
... It's been 2-1/2 years since I last held Vern. That just does not seem possible to me. I miss him. Every single day I miss him. But I'm living my life ... because that is what he would expect me to do. Lots has changed. I've let my hair grow out a bit. I'm in a new job at the company I've worked for for 27 years. I'm a Brave Girl! I'm doing kind things for people who need it - some anonymously - and it feels really good to make a difference.
And yet there's…
What a difference one little click can make. Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation (SSLF) - the non-profit "mother" organization of Widowed Village, Camp Widow and Widow's Voice - has an opportunity to win a $10,000 grant from the Women's Foundation of California (WFC).
To celebrate Women's History Month, the WFC decided to put the decision about who gets one of their grants into the hands of the people. That's where…Continue
It's been a long weekend, with my normal Friday off plus the holiday today. As usual, I get to this point of my weekend - where I realize that I must set the alarm for 4:30am and be prepared to head back to work - and I regret that I haven't accomplished all of the things I think I should have.
Actually, I've done more this weekend than usual ... cleared some piles, organized some things, got caught up on some paperwork, got the Geek Squad in here for the tv ... but it's also been…
I've taken our "special" days off work since Vern died. It has just always felt like the right thing to do and allowed me to feel however I needed to feel on his birthday, my birthday, our anniversary, his death date. I've not done anything special on those days. Stayed home. Inside. In my jammies. Quiet days filled with memories. And tears.
I'm grateful that I started this blog. While I haven't been a daily writer, I've still captured my…Continue