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AuntT (Steph)'s Blog (15)

Still lost

After 7 years I hoped I would be better at this. This morning I am having a very hard time. Two weeks after losing my husband I found a job. I met a lady there that helped me make it through each day. She was so good and kind to me. Friday night she lost her husband. My heart just breaks for her. He had lost his insurance when he had to quit work because he got sick. Now he is lying in the morgue until she can figure out how to bury him or what to do. I can't imagine having to do this. It…

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Added by AuntT (Steph) on July 21, 2018 at 7:48am — 10 Comments

WV CHAT!

I have been a member here over 4 years. Its where I come in the evenings and weekends for company. The chat room has been such a great help to me. There are people to talk to that know what you are feeling. No matter what you are feeling that day is dragging you down or  something good happening or just to have some company, it is a great place to communicate. Things you never think you could say because no one understands can be shared. We have a great group of people here. Chat has been…

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Added by AuntT (Steph) on September 12, 2015 at 10:51am — 5 Comments

old things

I really like the old WV better. this layout is very distracting to me.

Added by AuntT (Steph) on May 27, 2015 at 2:32pm — 4 Comments

Thank You Kelly Lamm

I received a gift from you and would love to thank you for it. You can send me an e-mail here or I am usually in chat.

Added by AuntT (Steph) on December 15, 2014 at 3:50pm — No Comments

Out of Place.

Why do I feel so out of place everywhere I go? I try to fit in but always feel I am a few steps behind everyone. I feel like I do not fit in anywhere.

I use to be the leader, hosting cookouts, events. Always very self confident. I was very cheerful, full of life and ready for good time with friends and family.

Now when I go somewhere I feel very detached. I seem to get left out of conversations. What has happened to me? I want to scream I am alive , I am here, I am still…

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Added by AuntT (Steph) on September 21, 2014 at 5:52am — 3 Comments

My Love

I got up this morning, trying not to think about this day 3 years ago. Oh how I wished I could have known it would be our last day together.

When I went to bed this night 3 years ago, he was quietly sleeping, looking so frail. Not at all the big strong man I knew him to be. We had full confidence he was going to be okay after the surgery and things were improving.

The next morning I woke up to the most terrifying day of my life. The last thing he said was”I am going to pass…

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Added by AuntT (Steph) on February 8, 2014 at 7:27am — 5 Comments

my bride

Just was thinking and remembering Frank never called me his wife I was His BRIDE. Really like that and wanted to share it with you.

Added by AuntT (Steph) on November 6, 2012 at 8:40am — 14 Comments

it hits hard sometimes

Almost 21 months out and it is easier, the missing him, waiting for him, wishing him back, asking God to give him back.

Since i began this journey I have had failure after failure. every time i turned around something was tearing and no money to fix anything. I held it together and figured things out and fixed ever thing my self and after several tries i got it right.

I lost my health insurance, my car, have bill collectors calling day and night.I was lucky enough to have found…

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Added by AuntT (Steph) on November 2, 2012 at 11:56pm — 10 Comments

These Walls

I sit in this room listening to the rain fall, no other voices, no noise except the country radio station that fades in an out. My mind is racing telling me what I should do but my body makes no moves. I swear I see the walls moving in closer and closer until I could scream. I want out of this box Im buried in. I want to run but nowhere to run to. How do i do this "Starting Over?"I cant breathe so I take a walk. I look at this beautiful earth and wonderful how my life got turned upside down.…

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Added by AuntT (Steph) on September 29, 2012 at 3:30pm — 9 Comments

Kindness

The nicest people in the world are here. Someone is always here to lift you up or calm you down. i cannot believe the love and concern i have recieved here. I want to Thank WV and all the members for caring and sharing. This is a long journey to travel alone. since I came to WV I dont feel so alone.

Added by AuntT (Steph) on September 20, 2012 at 3:36am — 13 Comments

chat

i can not get on chat. when the page comes up it is blank? Any ideas?

Added by AuntT (Steph) on August 31, 2012 at 10:51am — 2 Comments

How do I close the door?

Last week being Fathers day set this off for. We were married 25 years.the first few years his kids visited, had cookouts , Grand kids spent nights with us. then Frank did not like the fact his oldest daughter was in relationship with a married man. Lord knows what she went back and said to her family but in the past 20 years i had always been the only one to buy him a card or a gift and watched him the whole day sit and hope the phone would ring or fight back the tears. If we seen them…

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Added by AuntT (Steph) on June 23, 2012 at 4:23am — 11 Comments

Finding Myself

It is Saturday morning,5:45 AM. I am sitting here drinking coffee in a silence that is deafening. No life in this house, not a noise except the coffeemaker.

After looking at the past 26 1/2 years i realize i actually wasn't living my life. I lived 26 years in Franks shadow. my world evolved around what Frank did. The first 4-5 years we traveled across the country driving a tractor trailer. Sometimes  would get so home sick I would cry. It was adventurous in the beginning but that wore…

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Added by AuntT (Steph) on June 2, 2012 at 2:37am — 14 Comments

valentines day

Added by AuntT (Steph) on January 29, 2012 at 5:33pm — 3 Comments

My Christmas Memories

 
I was sitting here in the quiet looking at my CHRISTMAS tree…
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Added by AuntT (Steph) on December 18, 2011 at 5:18pm — 4 Comments

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