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H2obapper's Blog (3)

My heart hurts

Today my heart just hurts.  Over the weekend I went to visit our godchildren for the first time along since his passing.  I went to the aquarium for our godson's 3rd birthday and my other godson's baseball game.  I kept thinking how much Ray would have loved those moments, especially the baseball game.  He loved those kids so much; he would have been such a wonderful father.  An now my heart hurts because I had to experience the weekend alone.  It also hurts because those boys will never…


Added by H2obapper on June 8, 2015 at 12:16pm — No Comments

Today is hard

     Well, today is my 32nd birthday but it doesn't feel like anything special.  While I have lots of friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, I am not getting love from the one person I want, my Ray.  Why doesn't today feel special?  It did for many years before I met him, it did all those years I was with him, but now it seems like another day but more hollow. 

     I feel like its not a special of a day because he is not here to share it with me.  I keep hoping I will hear a…


Added by H2obapper on May 26, 2015 at 7:59am — 3 Comments

I forgot, just for a moment

    I forgot, just for a moment, that he was gone.  I don't have these moments often anymore.  Its very rare that I see his car in the garage and think,  "oh good, he is home early", and even when I do have these moments they are only milliseconds of time.  But Sunday I forgot.

    I was sewing some new drapes for my bathroom and vanity, something I have been wanting to do for almost 2 years now.  As I was sewing, I was smiling (again, something that is rare), and thought to myself,…


Added by H2obapper on May 21, 2015 at 11:55am — 3 Comments

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