Most of the situations I find myself in since my husband past are sad. Some are empowering and some just make me laugh at the ridiculousness of them. I sometimes think of what a person look in on us or maybe walking in to the room would think. Mostly I think of what our guardian angel thinks and how often he laughs at his family's many adventures.
Recently a friend gifted us a book about grief. There are a number of children's books about grief. There is one that I feel is…Continue
Yesterday my son turned 5. It is a big number in our house. He knew when he turned 5 he would be ready to go to kindergarten soon and he would get to chew gum. What none of us knew was that it would also be his first birthday without his dad. We have been talking about his birthday for a while. A month ago I bought invitations... Power Ranger themed and I even looked into having a Power Ranger character come to our house. I managed to get 6 invitations out to the preschool kids at his…Continue
Yesterday would have been my seven year wedding anniversary, but we lost my dear husband in December. I was a wreck all day, hiding in the bathroom to cry most of the day. I just miss him so much and we were so happy. Just another hard road stop of this journey of grief. Maybe I have been a little numb the last few months, I know I have most of the time actually. Yesterday the pain was so raw and so intense. I tried to embrace and sob every time I felt like crying and the tears never…Continue
Do any of you feel like people try to take advantage of your grieving? I feel as though I am very cautious of certain people and companies. I went to call Verizon to change the plan to my name and to close my husband's line. The first time I was on the phone they told me I could take my time to send the DC in and they would take care of it. I asked follow up questions and after the 5th question I found out they were going to keep the line open and keep charging me for it. I still owed…Continue
My husband received a bone marrow transplant in November. At the hospital they bring cake after the transplant and sing happy birthday to the patient to celebrate their new birthday. Our children were too little to visit him in the hospital because they carry too many germs. He passed away in December from Graft Vs Host. They let my children come visit once they knew things weren't going to turn around. Explaining to a 2 and 4 year old that Daddy wasn't going to get better and that we…Continue
My husband wasn't the typical romantic. I didn't get huge bouquets of roses on Valentine's Day or candlelit dinners for the night of the anniversary of our first kiss, but he would always surprise me in the best way when I really needed it. Five years ago I was very pregnant and my husband sent me this Edible Arrangement. I had no idea what day it was, but when I read the note I realized it marked one year since we moved in to our house. He wasn't typical, but he was romantic. He made…Continue
This past Sunday I took my son to go see Twenty One Pilots perform in Sacramento. It had been my husband’s idea to take him because our son loves their music and sings along to most songs from their Blurryface album. Shortly after I bought the tickets my husband was diagnosed with leukemia and 5 short months later we lost him. He was an amazing person and trying to pick up pieces after losing him has been near to impossible. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get through the concert,…Continue