The first anniversary of the death of my husband was January 20th, 2012. I had blogged about January being an extremely difficult month for me but that I understood that it would be, how could it not be? It was going to one full year since I saw my 'sweet boy' and longer since I held him and talked to him. Well, February is soon to be done and my mood is still the same - sad, emotional, angry, depressed, lonely, shocked, emotionally spent and exhausted.
I have always been a very…Continue
January 20th, 2012, will mark the ONE year anniversary of my husband's death. I am writing now as I am feeling myself slowly going down hill and filled with much anger, which is new for me.
This year has been the worst year of my life in every way possible. I have experienced all of the 'firsts' except the big one coming up on the 20th and have to say that I cannot imagine that all of those dates will not continue to be difficult days in my life. They will always be meaningful dates…Continue
I just got back from my FIRST 4 day trip on my own. I felt that I needed to just "get away from everyone" for a few days and just think and try to have fun. Well, after the first 12 hours I could see that this trip was going to be a very difficult one.
When I first arrived, I changed into my swimsuit and headed down to the ocean! What a gorgeous beach and that water was a colour blue I will always remember. BAM, I started to cry almost immediately after hitting the ocean. I…Continue
I sent my letter of complaint to the Ontario College of Physicians and Surgeons last week. On Tuesday I received a call that they received my complaint and wanted to know why I had 4 doctors listed in the wrongful death of my husband. The gentleman on the phone explained the process to me and he was asking me more specific questions that I wanted directed at each specific surgeon. I found myself becoming emotional on the phone as I was getting so angry that I have to go through this…Continue
Last Monday, I went to see a lawyer regarding what I know in my heart to be a series of mistakes and cover ups that resulted in the untimely and unlikely death of my husband. The lawyer I saw came highly recommended as one of the top two malpractice litigators in Toronto. I thankfully had already demanded my husband's medical chart and after a number of other physicians have read it and rendered their opinions, this lawyer was talking to me while reorganizing my husband' chart on a large…Continue
I am just over the 4 month period and while I can see a huge transformation from where I was, I am profoundly sad when I am alone with my thoughts. I am proud of what I have accomplished, simply surviving the worst pain in my life and losing the love of my life so unexpectedly.
I am working and…Continue
January 20th, 2011, my world came to a grinding halt. The love of my life died, with no warning, no health issues, on the contrary he was an athlete. He had surgery that he was expected to make a full and strong recovery from, and then a series of events resulted in a cascade of medical issues that finally resulted in his death. I am still in the process of gathering medical information and will be confronting his surgeon. I want him to go through every aspect of his surgery (I requested and…Continue
Yesterday was my anniversary and a very sad day for me indeed. I worked for most of the day, had lunch with a friend and finished the day with my counsellor. She had told me the week before that it may be a good idea to bring in a wedding photo so that we could discuss my anniversary.
I tried to put my favourite pic of us in a bag to…Continue
It has now been 103 days since I lost my husband and I just finished sobbing on the telephone with a close friend of mine. Last night a male friend called me up and said he wanted me to go for dinner with him. I hemmed and hawed because I had not been out in public since my husband passed. I thought that since it was a Monday night that the restaurant would be pretty empty and we went rather late....restaurant only had a…Continue