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Abby's Blog (10)

IS HAPPINESS ELUSIVE?

The first anniversary of the death of my husband was January 20th, 2012. I had blogged about January being an extremely difficult month for me but that I understood that it would be, how could it not be?  It was going to one full year since I saw my 'sweet boy' and longer since I held him and talked to him. Well, February is soon to be done and my mood is still the same - sad, emotional, angry, depressed, lonely, shocked, emotionally spent and exhausted.

I have always been a very…

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Added by Abby on February 26, 2012 at 2:22pm — 2 Comments

MY ONE YEAR TRIBUTE TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!

Added by Abby on January 25, 2012 at 10:55am — 14 Comments

Days Before The ONE Year Anniversary of the Death of My Husband

January 20th, 2012, will mark the ONE year anniversary of my husband's death. I am writing now as I am feeling myself slowly going down hill and filled with much anger, which is new for me.

This year has been the worst year of my life in every way possible. I have experienced all of the 'firsts' except the big one coming up on the 20th and have to say that I cannot imagine that all of those dates will not continue to be difficult days in my life. They will always be meaningful dates…

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Added by Abby on January 4, 2012 at 1:00pm — 9 Comments

Will you be dining by Yourself or will someone be joining you?

I just got back from my FIRST 4 day trip on my own. I felt that I needed to just "get away from everyone" for a few days and just think and try to have fun.  Well, after the first 12 hours I could see that this trip was going to be a very difficult one.

When I first arrived, I changed into my swimsuit and headed down to the ocean! What a gorgeous beach and that water was a colour blue I will always remember. BAM, I started to cry almost immediately after hitting the ocean. I…

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Added by Abby on September 1, 2011 at 7:19pm — 8 Comments

My Legal Journey Part 2

I sent my letter of complaint to the Ontario College of Physicians and Surgeons last week. On Tuesday I received a call that they received my complaint and wanted to know why I had 4 doctors listed in the wrongful death of my husband. The gentleman on the phone explained the process to me and he was asking me more specific questions that I wanted directed at each specific surgeon.  I found myself becoming emotional on the phone as I was getting so angry that I have to go through this…

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Added by Abby on July 15, 2011 at 6:00pm — 2 Comments

My Journey to Find Justice Begins

Last Monday, I went to see a lawyer regarding what I know in my heart to be a series of mistakes and cover ups that resulted in the untimely and unlikely death of my husband.  The lawyer I saw came highly recommended as one of the top two malpractice litigators in Toronto.   I thankfully had already demanded my husband's medical chart and after a number of other physicians have read it and rendered their opinions, this lawyer was talking to me while reorganizing my husband' chart on a large…

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Added by Abby on July 4, 2011 at 7:00am — 6 Comments

I feel that I am in that "IN BETWEEN PHASE"

I am just over the 4 month period and while I can see a huge transformation from where I was, I am profoundly sad when I am alone with my thoughts.  I am proud of what I have accomplished, simply surviving the worst pain in my life and losing the love of my life so unexpectedly.

I am working and…

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Added by Abby on June 13, 2011 at 6:50pm — 15 Comments

What does moving on mean?

January 20th, 2011, my world came to a grinding halt. The love of my life died, with no warning, no health issues, on the contrary he was an athlete. He had surgery that he was expected to make a full and strong recovery from, and then a series of events resulted in a cascade of medical issues that finally resulted in his death. I am still in the process of gathering medical information and will be confronting his surgeon. I want him to go through every aspect of his surgery (I requested and…

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Added by Abby on June 2, 2011 at 5:00pm — 17 Comments

Our Anniversary and WHY?

Yesterday was my anniversary and a very sad day for me indeed. I worked for most of the day, had lunch with a friend and finished the day with my counsellor. She had told me the week before that it may be a good idea to bring in a wedding photo so that we could discuss my anniversary.

I tried to put my favourite pic of us in a bag to…

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Added by Abby on May 14, 2011 at 12:30pm — 7 Comments

Do I really want to move on?

It has now been 103 days since I lost my husband and I just finished sobbing on the telephone with a close friend of mine.  Last night a male friend called me up and said he wanted me to go for dinner with him.  I  hemmed and hawed because I had not been out in public since my husband passed. I thought that since it was a Monday night that the restaurant would be pretty empty and we went rather late....restaurant only had a…

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Added by Abby on May 3, 2011 at 3:27pm — 14 Comments

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