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Mac's Blog (90)

Just a shout out to those more recently widowed.

It's been 5 years for me. We were married for 28 years. For most of us, things do improve with time. We adjust to this "new life" and we have such a sense of gratitude for so very much! Wishing all the best for you!

There are so many possible combinations in this world. 

We travel here, there and everywhere! 

We meet so many people. 

We do so many things. 

We make so many choices. …


Added by Mac on July 9, 2017 at 5:00pm — 1 Comment

Some Random Thoughts At 4+ Years

Sending this out especially to those who are more recently widowed. It’s been a little over four years since Cindy passed. We were married for 28 years and we were best of friends for 37 years. We had that “storybook” relationship, marriage and family life.

It was so hard to even imagine life without Cindy for so long. That first year, words cannot even begin to describe it, but I don’t have to tell you…


Added by Mac on November 16, 2016 at 4:30pm — No Comments

As Christmas Approaches

Christmas Eve 6 months after Cindy passed, I was in my bedroom playing Nothing Compares 2U by Sinéad O Connor over and over again, sobbing all the time. My daughter asked me: “Dad, why are you doing that to yourself?” My response: “Because, I need to.” My children did get to enjoy Christmas with Cindy’s family.

The second Christmas was slightly better, but I was pretty apathetic about any celebrating. Certainly much emotion and missing…


Added by Mac on December 7, 2015 at 5:10pm — 1 Comment

Mother's Day

It's been a quiet weekend so far. It's been raining for days here in Denver. I don't mind the rain. It looks so green outside. The creek is flowing fast and high. I'm having a relaxing morning. Cleaning some, goofing off some, making a slide show to honor/remember Cindy... My children's dogs are gone for the weekend, that's a nice break.


So I here I sit. Looking through the photos. Feeling so blessed. I had such a kind and loving mom. She was happy most all of the time. Super…


Added by Mac on May 9, 2015 at 10:00am — 1 Comment

Feeling somewhat reflective this morning.

Cindy and I took a three month honeymoon traveling around the world heading west. What a wonderful way to start our married life! During this trip we stopped and visited her relatives in Italy. Her Nona had come from a town just north of Genoa. It was so much fun to reconnect with the relatives.

When we got home from our honeymoon, Cindy went to work for United Airlines. We had so much fun traveling far and wide…

Added by Mac on March 18, 2015 at 7:35am — 3 Comments

A New Phase?

It has been almost 32 months since Cindy passed. I have felt her presence so strongly during this time. A strange thing has happened the last several days. All of a sudden I feel one additional degree of separation. I don't know why. It doesn't make me sad. Still feeling grateful for much most of the time. It just feels different.

Added by Mac on February 14, 2015 at 8:00am — 2 Comments

Thinking About My Sweetie

30 years ago, with help from friends and family, we were getting ready for the big day that followed. Love you my sweetie. Thank you for all the years of friendship, love, joy, adventures, wonderful family life and so much more.…


Added by Mac on December 28, 2014 at 6:59pm — 2 Comments

Weddings & Funerals

The weddings aren't so sad anymore. Went to a couple of them this past Summer. Certainly did think about Cindy and our life together so much. And hoped that my relatives would have a joyous and happy marriage like I did.

Just got back from my 23 year old nephew's funeral. My brother's family and my family are super close. Our children grew up together seeing each other most every weekend and certainly on all of the birthdays and holidays.

I certainly was thinking about…


Added by Mac on December 22, 2014 at 7:00am — 2 Comments

A Loss In The Family

My 23 year old nephew was hit and killed by a car over the weekend. This is my brother's son. His children and my children grew up together and are very close.

Having gone through what we have all experienced puts us in a unique position to empathize, understand and reach out to others. Grateful for when they allow us to.
Here's another photo of Cindy. She loved all of my nieces and nephews so much. She brought so much joy and fun to their lives. The…

Added by Mac on December 10, 2014 at 10:00am — 10 Comments

These last 10 Hours

These last 10 hours I've been by myself which is a good thing. I will be joining family and friends for Thanksgiving meals today and tomorrow. Last night I went out for sushi, one of our favorite meals. Dedicated the meal to Cindy, toasted her and had her photo in front of me at the sushi bar. 

I've been focused on Cindy. Thinking about her. Thinking about our life together. Feeling her. It's been emotional, which is a good thing. Feeling so much gratitude.

I am…


Added by Mac on November 27, 2014 at 11:30am — No Comments

Some Thoughts At Twenty Nine Months

Before I was married I traveled to many places, usually traveling alone by choice.  I wanted to be able to experience the adventures by myself, unhindered by a friend or companion. Able to do whatever I wanted on the fly. Able to meet people and to spend time with them along the way. Cindy was the same way, as much as was safe. We both were very strong and somewhat self-sufficient individuals. When we became a couple it was amazing. We traveled the world together and both thrived on…


Added by Mac on November 18, 2014 at 11:00am — No Comments

A Few Thoughts At 27 Months

It has been 27 months since Cindy passed. Overall, things are going well. I am grateful for that. My son and daughter are doing well. We are a connected and engaged family.

I think about Cindy and feel close to her so often. Two truly do become one, especially after 37 years of friendship and 27-1/2 years of marriage. We had an amazing and eventful life together.

I was in a relationship for 7 months. She is a very beautiful and a very kind woman. Things went well and so…


Added by Mac on September 16, 2014 at 11:25am — 1 Comment

Cindy’s Birthday

Last month was the 2nd year anniversary of Cindy’s passing. I spent that day walking by myself and meditating on/thinking about Cindy as I walked. It was in a very quiet setting. I’m glad that I spent the day that way.


I’ve started to make more changes around the house. Putting things were they look the best to me. Making some donations runs. Keeping the house cleaned up (relatively speaking) at any given moment. It’s been a really good feeling. I’ve had a couple…


Added by Mac on July 15, 2014 at 5:23pm — 7 Comments

This Pretty Much Sums Up How I Feel

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever, because believing that the…


Added by Mac on July 4, 2014 at 7:00am — 6 Comments

The Wedding Weekend

I’ve gone to four weddings since Cindy passed. The first wedding was at 6 months. It was…


Added by Mac on June 30, 2014 at 5:51pm — 4 Comments

2nd Anniversary Weekend

I went away for the weekend and visited my sister. She opened up a new gallery and wanted me to see it. It’s in a rural location about 4-1/2 hours from here. I’ve done the drive before with Cindy and was certainly thinking about that as I enjoyed the mountain views.

Friday night at the gallery was very colorful to say the least. I woke up early Saturday morning. It…


Added by Mac on June 21, 2014 at 5:00am — 3 Comments

2 years tomorrow.

2 years tomorrow.




Feeling your love and presence so strongly.




Letting go of some of the past.

Discovering my new life.

Trusting in the future.

Love you honey.

Added by Mac on June 13, 2014 at 7:37am — 8 Comments

Soon It WIll Have Been 2 Years

In ten days it will have been 2 years. Sadness isn't as much a part of my experience anymore. Extreme emotion and some tears at times, but not sadness. Strong feelings of gratitude for much, including the 27-1/2 years of marriage and 37 years of friendship.

Of course I think about Cindy all of the time, two truly do become one.


My children are happy and we are thriving as a family, grateful for that. All of us did struggle so much initially. Do I feel somewhat…


Added by Mac on June 4, 2014 at 5:41pm — 4 Comments

How I Met Your Mother - Finale

That was a tough one to watch...

Added by Mac on April 1, 2014 at 5:41am — No Comments

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