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Mark99's Blog (11)

Donna, A Photo Memoir Of Love and Loss

My wife Donna died in 2011. I was blessed to find Widowed Village and be introduced to Michele Neff Hernandez.

Early on in the group widowed in 2011 I found voices similar to mine who shared my fears and my grief. Voices that face the same struggles I did. I found my footing here and other places. Though in all honesty I will not abandon (close) my grief because I see closure as indifference and denial said pretty. I will not abandon Donna's memory or our/my love. My grief was a path…

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Added by Mark99 on March 18, 2019 at 7:03am — No Comments

The Barbs and Cortege of Memories

February 14th 2016 is Valentines Day for all of us. For Donna it would have been her 64th trip around the Sun. This annual sojourn of circling the Sun ended in 2011. Yet her ashes and memories continue to race through my personal solar system. “All we are is what we leave behind." I am left behind, your memory is not.

http://www.bioc.net/blog/2016/2/10/the-barbs-and-cortege-of-memories…

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Added by Mark99 on February 10, 2016 at 1:56pm — 1 Comment

Domesticating The Feral Nature of Grief

Sun Magazine had interview that struck a resonant chord with my writings on loss and grief. “The Geography of Sorrow” the interview is with Francis Weller a psychotherapist specializing in grief and sorrow. Below is one of many thoughts and ideas Weller shared on…

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Added by Mark99 on October 28, 2015 at 3:50pm — 1 Comment

My Interview Podcast

Podcast #7 Meet Mark: Carolyn interviews me. She was able to elicit much and bring back the emotional memories of Donna’s caregiving and death. As painful as it was it’s a window into why I am doing this and what I’ve learned. You’ll love the part about whole brain radiation evidence vs. quality of life.…

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Added by Mark99 on April 30, 2014 at 3:34pm — No Comments

My Interview Podcast

Podcast #7 Meet Mark: Carolyn interviews me. She was able to elicit much and bring back the emotional memories of Donna’s caregiving and death. As painful as it was it’s a window into why I am doing this and what I’ve learned. You’ll love the part about whole brain radiation evidence vs. quality of life.…

Continue

Added by Mark99 on April 30, 2014 at 3:32pm — No Comments

CAREGIVING, LOSS, GRIEF, AND RECOVERY: A JOURNEY

Donna, my wife of 28 years, died two plus years ago. I have written about caregivingHPMloss, …

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Added by Mark99 on November 13, 2013 at 6:35am — 5 Comments

A Film Project: Palliation and Hospice Care

I have been working to produce a documentary, The topic is palliative and hospice care. The reason is that it gave me and most of all my wife of 28 years Donna a great gift. This country needs to have more discussions about palliation and hospice. So I am producing a short 10 minute documentary on this topic that will be used as a discussion guide, a teaching tool, a CME tool, and more. It will not answer all questions but will open the discussion. 



I have two Emmy award winning…

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Added by Mark99 on April 17, 2013 at 4:18pm — No Comments

Thoughts

I have just joined and am finding my way around this site. I saw your post and thought I would respond in kind. Donna, my wife of 29+ years, died last August 7. It was NSCLC. She was told at her diagnosis that she had six months to live. It was done via voice mail at work. Yup horrific but the primary care doc felt so guilty he got us an amazing oncologist who was brilliant and caring and he lead us all the way. 

We all grieve differently and need to find our balance and place…

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Added by Mark99 on June 23, 2012 at 6:07pm — No Comments

Nothing special just musing

It will be a year August 7 that Donna, my wife of 29+ years, passed away at MJHS Hospice in NYC. It was somewhat of a fast process from her admission on July 11 to have a thoracentesis performed which did not work to being moved to hospice July 18th. This past year has been one of discovery and extreme emotions ranging from ideation to joy in knowing that I have learned so much both during our marriage to the time following her death. But from the time of her dx 2 1/2 years earlier we both…

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Added by Mark99 on June 23, 2012 at 6:03pm — 7 Comments

Eulogy

Here is what I wrote and spoke at the funeral it's from last year but I've not shared it here. 

Donna and I have come full circle. By pure coincidence we are back where we began. Down the block on MacDougal Street I asked her to marry me one Christmas. She told me to keep it a secret while she wore the Elsa Peretti diamond earrings I got her. Friday nights we would go to Monte’s for some Italian. (Reminded us of eating in Irvington NJ.) Later we went whole hog and ate at Café Dante a…

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Added by Mark99 on June 16, 2012 at 8:45am — 6 Comments

Excellent Text

Seven Choices by Elizabeth Harper Neeld is an excellent text on loss and grieving. For me it touched on some key points and areas I was struggling with.
http://tiny.cc/5abwfw

Added by Mark99 on June 14, 2012 at 5:53am — 4 Comments

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