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Lakelady's Blog – July 2014 Archive (5)

Nobody Knows What To Say To Me

I used to let people come talk to me and I would listen. Now, in the "after" that is widowhood, I open conversations with "Listen, frankly, first of all, no one knows what to say to us (Collin and I) and we don't know what to say back".

I started doing it out of sheer desperation becuase otherwise I would be bombarded with really cruel (mostly unintentionally so) remarks by people like:

"You were meant to be alone". (REALLY?!? If that were the case I (1) wouldn't have… Continue

Added by Lakelady on July 30, 2014 at 6:30pm — No Comments

Waking the Zombies

My son Collin and I were were eating frozen yogurt and talking about our lives. He said to me, "Mom, I am a zombie. I get up, go along, and cry when I need to, but mostly, I feel like a zombie."

He's right.

We are having a gorgeous summer here in Chicagoland (for you outsiders, that's what we call the "collar counties" that ring the city of Chicago). The sun is shining, the weather may get a bit hot some days, but it is apparently a pretty good summer.

My son… Continue

Added by Lakelady on July 27, 2014 at 6:41pm — No Comments

First Business Trip...After

Tomorrow I leave on a short business trip (4 days) to New York. I will take Collin with me and drop him at my parents house in Poughkeepsie so he can have some Grandparent time. I fully expect to get him back spoiled thoroughly.

My company has been amazing...they have sent flowers from around the world, cards, letters, DVDs, food for our kitties and for us, and even offered to move this meeting to Chicago if it would be easier for me to attend. My boss named a star for my husband, so… Continue

Added by Lakelady on July 19, 2014 at 5:42am — 2 Comments


It has been a "ricochet day" for the last two. I am the pinball flying around the pinball machine, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes high-speed between the bumpers of my own emotions.

It has been happening since I weathered what would have been our 17th Wedding Anniversary. Instead of celebrating "our summer" I brought two roses to his gravesite and had a cathartic cry while I told him about how much I missed him. I told him all the things he missed (our 11 year old at… Continue

Added by Lakelady on July 15, 2014 at 5:31pm — 2 Comments

Son's First Haircut Without Dad

Who knew a trip to the barber could be so hard? I live in a wonderful town and my husband had been taking our 11 year old to the local barbershop for years. My son Collin had been putting off the trip, saying he wanted to go, but he wasn't ready. Yesterday, we went together.

It's one of many "firsts" he and I have had to navigate together, but this one hurt in a different way. He wanted to go, but I could tell by the look on his eyes as the dads brought their sons that it just… Continue

Added by Lakelady on July 13, 2014 at 9:52am — 1 Comment

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