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Only1sue's Blog – April 2013 Archive (4)

Who do my children think I am?

I am trying to piece my life back together again.  Seven months out I am finally looking around me to see who is left in my life, who I want to bring closer, who I can rely on.  And when I look at my adult children they are all standing way back, not close by to see if they can help but looking at "poor old Mum" from some way away.

If I am lucky I get a phone call once a week, an occassional visit but that is it.  I always blog about them as if we are close and so maybe people get the…

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Added by only1sue on April 19, 2013 at 5:00pm — 1 Comment

Don't push yourself

Some days are just great, some days are just not.  I don't know how you tell the differecne as the same blue sky hangs over all.  I have been consciously trying to look for the good in life.  That is my normal attitude.  For me life is good and it is just some days are not so good.  I came to this conclusion during my 13 years of looking after my husband.  At first life was bad, bad, bad.  Then I realised these were going to be my lifetime memories and I changed my attitude.  So some days…

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Added by only1sue on April 17, 2013 at 3:22pm — No Comments

changing from wife and caregiver to widow and ????

I have always said I was like a bubble in the glass of champagne, always rising to the top but instead in January I was stuck on the bottom unable to move. I had hit a blank wall.  I was a mess back then, really afraid to make decisions, no energy, sleepless most nights, not anything like my usual self.  Just the effort of getting through Christmas, so close to Mum's death in November had sent me almost into a parallel universe as I stiffled all my feelings, thinking I was doing it for the…

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Added by only1sue on April 9, 2013 at 2:28am — 4 Comments

Are people getting sick of me?

At my craft group yesterday afternoon someone asked how I was.  Usually I say:"Fine thanks" but yesterday I didn't.  I told her I was sick of living alone, sick of the noise and mess from the building going on next door,wished I had a man around the house to do all my small jobs that I now have to pay someone to do.  I told her that sometimes I am fine but sometimes I  feel so sad I don't know how I am going to get up of a morning.  In the background I could hear some people murmuring :"Here…

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Added by only1sue on April 2, 2013 at 2:30pm — 9 Comments

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