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Only1sue's Blog – September 2013 Archive (4)

the 13th month

I have finally finished my first year as a widow.  I don't know how that is supposed to feel.  It kind of feels like a continuation of last week and the week before.  I don't feel as if I have crossed a line, had a revelation or made some resolutions as you do when you write off another year on New Year's Day.  I just feel as lost and lonely as ever but summer is acoming in and I guess I just have to join with everyone in welcoming the new season and what it brings.

We go onto…

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Added by only1sue on September 28, 2013 at 3:44am — 1 Comment

What am I supposed to "move on" to?

I hate it that the last of the " firsts" is staring me in the face right now.  I am not yet ready for it to be a year since Ray died.  This time last year was a terrible time, we knew he was close to the end and I slept with the phone by the pillow.  I went to the nursing home early in the morning and left late at night.  I hardly ate, hardly slept, I lived in a daze. It will be one year on the 19th, one year of confusion, loneliness and much learning.  Thanks to all who have boosted my…

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Added by only1sue on September 12, 2013 at 11:30pm — 5 Comments

more small changes

"I found when I stopped trying to live a life that had my husband in it, I was able to make progress." This is a quote from CoolMum! (Lynne) in a comment she made on Mariposa's Discussion "I AM BEREFT".

I had to look at it for a while to see what she meant.  I took a while to think about what it was like to live a life without my late husband Ray in it...lonely? empty? not what I want?  Yes, all of those things but that is because I am just at the end of the first year of mourning.  I…

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Added by only1sue on September 5, 2013 at 8:30pm — No Comments

A difficult month to go through

It was Father's day today in Australia, the 1st Sunday in September.  I went to church and then out to lunch with our lunch group ladies, only six of us today as some had been lucky enough to be invited to family celebrations.  It was good to have company but I am sure all of us widows were thinking of our loved ones and so the conversation was a little stilted.  It doesn't matter if it was last year (for me) or 32 years ago (for our oldest lady) we were still all thinking of the one who…

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Added by only1sue on September 1, 2013 at 2:30am — 2 Comments

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