It is hard to explain what I am going through right now. I am hoping it just has to do with Spring. I am so restless, not sleeping well at night again, pacing a lot, sitting with my mind blank, just wondering what I should do. I want to write out a plan for the future but I keep asking myself – what future? I am content usually to take one day at a time, I had to do that with Ray's long illness, things constantly changed with him and as he had TIAs fits and seizures on a fairly regular basis…Continue
Wondering what will happen in the future. Wondering what the future holds for me. Wondering if I now have the resilience to makes some changes. I have been a long time in the grieving process and maybe it is time to "move on".
I am sitting here thinking. Where will I find someone who will cherish me, just as I am, overweight, developing wrinkles, with a double chin and a body no longer young? Wondering how I will react to new changes if I do. Am I up for new thinking, new…Continue
Minding my three grandchildren who live the furthest away, they are up for school holidays with their mother and I am minding them for three nights while she works. It is a revelation watching them as their personalities are changing. The older of the two boys aged almost eight said to me: "It is not the same without Pa around." He is so right! He used to run into our living room and if Pa was not in his chair he would run to the bedroom, shake Pa's shoulder and say: "We're here Pa, wake…Continue