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Only1sue's Blog (186)

full of bitterness

Someone told me at four months out they got really angry, angry at God, angry at their friends who still had their husbands, angry at their children who did not feel the pain as they thought they should.  I can understand that.  For me anger comes out sometimes as bitterness.  I really understand the phrase" a bitter taste in your mouth" as that is how I feel when I get bad news. I don't want to turn into a "bitter old woman" but that is how I feel tonight.

I have had a couple of…


Added by only1sue on January 7, 2013 at 6:32am — 7 Comments

feeling all alone

I once met a woman at the bus stop down the road.  We got talking the way you do.  She said she was all alone.  She had had three sons and a husband but they were all dead now.  I asked her how it happened and she said one son had died in Vietnam, one in a car accident and one in a bike accident.  Her husband had a heart attack and he died too. She found herself all alone.

She said she went to her doctor and asked:  "Why am I alive when all I love are dead?"

Her doctor said:…


Added by only1sue on January 2, 2013 at 4:37am — 6 Comments

in a glass ball

I feel as if I am in a glass ball.  I can see the world around me and move in it but somehow there is a barrier in between us.  I guess it is the isolating effect of the bereavements.  I know people do understand but I sure wish some of them would reach out in a practical way.  I have always been a hugger and could do with a hug from time to time, or a phone call, or a letter or some form of reaching out.

I have always been the one to initiate contact with most of my friends.  If I…


Added by only1sue on December 30, 2012 at 12:01am — 6 Comments

roller coaster riding again

Since Ray's death my life seems to have been in a constant state of flux.  I know from much reading that this is normal.  I thought that now was my time, that I would have some control but it seems the control is in the hands of those organizations I now have to send reams of paperwork to to complete the estate and change what little there is into my name.  How many times do I have to tell them I don't have the papers they want me to send!

I think by the time Mum died, two months…


Added by only1sue on December 20, 2012 at 12:43pm — 1 Comment

Mum's journey

We first noticed Mum had dementia in about 1994.  By then she had probably had it for some time though we thought it was a part of the ageing proces. She and Dad had gone on a picnic with our daughter and her husband-to be at that time.  They were at an area with some BBQ's and picnic tables and Mum wanted to go to the bathroom.  They could see the ablutions block from where they were so thought nothing of Mum going alone.

It was not until she had been gone half an hour that they…


Added by only1sue on December 18, 2012 at 5:00am — 3 Comments

my story

 Ray had his first stroke in 1990, aged 48.  He had six months of rehab and went back to work.  Phew!!! I went back to training and got a job.  We resumed some kind of life, a little simplified as he had massive fatigue issues and so I took over most of the things he did at home.So I was working, did most of the stuff at home and finished raising our 15 year old, making excuses for our 18 year old, and listening to our 21 year old, it was a busy life.

We did some good travelling, we…


Added by only1sue on November 9, 2012 at 8:00pm — 5 Comments

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