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Pegasus's Blog (7)

A Sobering Thought

I passed the 1 year mark 9 days ago.  My family needed me to be strong so I didn't allow myself to grieve. Things were going pretty well until this past spring, when I unexpectedly slid into depression and crying jags.  Almost four months passed and just as I started thinking I was getting back on track, I did an odd thing.  I'm not a drinker but 3 weeks ago I bought 3 bottles of bourbon.  After some experimentation I decided mixed drinks were my preferred way…

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Added by Pegasus on July 19, 2019 at 2:21pm — 2 Comments

Life Changes

I had a random thought this morning - I'm not who I was 6 1/2 months ago.  My husband's death has turned me into a different person, one that I don't know and don't want to be.  His passing set off a chain of events that was impossible to anticipate.  I read a quote on the internet a few minutes ago that stated "Death changes nothing".  No, death changes everything.  It has forced me into thinking differently, feeling differently, living a different life,…

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Added by Pegasus on January 28, 2019 at 9:03am — 7 Comments

Christmas Tree

Finally figured out how to put the Christmas tree in this post.  It's a bit early but the past four months have been extraordinarily difficult, sad and life-altering.  Putting up the tree has helped some.  I just want to end the year with something positive, pretty and fun.…

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Added by Pegasus on November 12, 2018 at 4:27pm — No Comments

Thinking Ahead

It's been a difficult, sad and life-altering year.  For the past four months my life has been consumed with settling my husband's estate, taking care of my developmentally delayed son and just getting through each day.  The arrival of November has been urging me to start planning for the holidays.  For the first time ever, my youngest sister just told me that her children have to work on Thanksgiving so her family won't be able to come.  My daughter's boyfriend…

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Added by Pegasus on November 11, 2018 at 11:09am — 4 Comments

Taking Care

Dear God, just checking in, as I do every day, to thank you for taking care of my Bob.  I know he's free of illness and pain up there with you and that he's happy being reunited with his parents and brother, but I sure do wish that you'd seen fit to let him stay with me and our children a few more years.  That may be selfish but I know you understand.  There'll never be another like him in my life.  He was my first and he'll be my last.  Throughout the years…

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Added by Pegasus on October 12, 2018 at 7:15am — 1 Comment

Making Progress

Progress has been very slow but as my husband always said, "It may be slow but it's progress as long as it's moving forward."  Today I am waiting for the arrival of two tow trucks to pick up Bob's two vans.  I'm donating them to a charity that uses the proceeds to fund the education of under privileged children.  One is good for nothing but scrap, the other is old but runs fine.  They're happy to get them and I will be happy to have them gone.  Donating the vans is my first act of releasing…

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Added by Pegasus on October 8, 2018 at 12:05pm — 4 Comments

First Time Out

I'm brand new here and making my first post.  I lost my husband of 47 years two and a half months ago.  He became ill and two weeks later spent a week in the hospital, was diagnosed with a perforated colon, renal failure and dementia and was given the shocking news that he had 10 days to live.  I told the doctors not to let him know.  I arranged hospice care to come a couple of times a week, took him home and took care of him.  He was bedridden and unable to do…

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Added by Pegasus on September 29, 2018 at 10:29am — 2 Comments

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