A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I decided to start writing mostly to remember the beautiful love affair I shared with my husband and chronicle some memories for our son. Thanksgiving is always hard for so many reasons. We always had Thanksgiving at our house as it was the only "neutral" holiday. Everybody we could we invited. I always worked the night before and cooked when I got home. There was always so much food. Thanksgiving was the first holiday george and i spent together. at that time he lived in the house next door and he had been coming over fixing everything imaginable. he was so shy and i had to go over and personally get him. he was unsure about meeting my family. i adored him and couldn't believe he was becoming a real part of our lives. George and I met one summer day when in the midst of my crazy divorce mind, I decided to get rid of all our furniture. I was putting out on the porch. I just knew I wanted it out of the house and hadn't thought any further than that. One of the items was a sofa bed which I shoved down the stairs to the landing only for it to open and jam the stairwell. I was on the landing which was totally blocked and the kids(then3 and 5) were running around upstairs. I went to every person I knew and no one was available. Out of desperation I started ringing my neighbor's doorbell. This is the middle of the day and I see this half dressed guy and asked him to help me. I was sure he was drunk but I was desperate. At first when I asked him he closed the door on me so I figured so much for that idea. Actually he went to get a shirt and shoes and came to my house. He was so tall and handsome but I had been so badly damaged in my marriage I was terrified of any man! He came in and helped me practically picking up the whole thing by himself. He wanted to help me with the other stuff and kept trying to help but I shooed him away. Next day outside in the yard playing with the kids, Jacob decided he wanted to talk to this guy. he was so gentle. this went on for awhile. jacob would always approach george and whatever he had , food or drink, he would say "that's my favorite. can i have some?" it became a running joke. then bit by bit george would help me with things. moving big items in or out, carrying groceries, anything. I finally trusted him enough to let him in and he helped me with a million things, plus he protected me from my ex. i kept asking my friends why was this amazing, smart,funny, handsome guy wasting his time at my house to which they said maybe he likes you. So after several months i kissed him on the cheek to say thank you and the rest....He always said he loved me from that first kiss. after that when i got off work in the morning I would go over and snuggle up next to him until morning came and i had to get the kids to school. my beautiful babysitter, Sima figured us out and would send Jacob over to get me in the morning. we never did get to date between kids,and work and it became. a joke between us . One time we got a babysitter for the day and were going to take the motorcycle out for the day to have a picnic and go ridding. We got too westminster and had a flat. it was a mess but we just laughed and managed to get a ride home with some guy with a van.( this was before cell phones) we decided we would just do things together but not date! we always seemed to have fun even just going to hechinger or working in the yard. he always made me smile and his memory still does. So now I am again a single mother. now with a four year old, 21 and 20 year old. sometimes i wonder how i ever got here. george and i had a beautiful life and marriage for 12= years. we got married on his birthday because he told me i was the only present he wanted and continued to say that throughout our marriage. we were so perfect for each other. i have hundreds of love letters from our time together. we really never fought and seemed to just have fun together. we were very private and kept to ourselves alot. everything changed when in 2006 i became pregnant. we had been planning an early retirement in delaware on the beach. george had been told he couldn't have kids and was always so grateful for rachel and jacob, whose father had abandoned them. george was beyond ecstatic when our son was born. he couldn't believe it. he couldn't take his eyes off of him. we both stopped work and stayed home to enjoy our new family. sadly six months later george was diagnosed with ALL. even though his prognosis was three weeks he lived to see his son turn 2. he didn't complain or feel sorry for himself. he just accepted his fate with grace. he actually comforted the doctor who had to give him his diagnoses as she was so upset. i miss george everyday. he was my best friend, my soul mate. no one could ever take his place in my heart. i thank g-d everyday for our beautiful amazing son and know george is watching over us, occasionally reminding of his presence. I am so thankful for every bit of the life we shared, our beautiful memories and our amazing son.