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More scared again.
Life decided to crap on me again on Thursday. I feel something in my car when I turn the steering wheel, so I stopped where I had the snow tires put on last week. He told me that something very serious is about to happen to one of my REAR wheels (what I feel is in the front), and the work he wants to do will cost $300+. My brother-in-law doesn't believe him and thinks the guy is trying to sham me. My BIL will take the car next week to check it out himself.
When I got home from that episode, I found out the company I work for is making me choose between the two parts of my work (tutoring and mentoring), that I cannot continue to do both parts anymore after Jan. 1. I have been a tutor for them for 10 years, and have also been a mentor for 5 of those years. It pisses me off because I feel like I am being punished (boring story). I am only allowed to work 30 hours per week. Their explanation is lousy, and I have to wait until Mon. or Tues. until I can talk to someone there. My choice is clear: I have to choose the part of my work that has the most hours (tutoring), even though it pays less per hour. This means that I will lose at least $100./mo. pay, sometimes over $200. by giving up the other part of my work; they will also start taking S.S. and taxes out of my remaining pay for whichever part of the job I do keep, so that will be a little more money lost each month. Because they have to get the employment papers done, I can't work the last week of Dec., which puts a pinch on my Dec. income, after buying tires and Christmas shopping.
I turned 60 this year. I taught school for 10 years, and I have been a tutor since I retired from classroom teaching in 2000, so I don't have any skills other than tutoring anymore. I have looked around for jobs in this area and don't find anything. I feel old and useless. Now I am also limited by S.S. suvivor's benefits, so there is a cap on how much I can earn without a penalty. The S.S. money helps, but I only get part of it because I am paying off an enormous debt I owe my BIL since he bailed my husband and I out our our financial crisis in 2008. I will be paying him back for the rest of my life. Now I am going to also lose some money that I counted on having.
I still have my house that I can't sell. We just lowered the listing price by a huge amount. No inquiries, and none likely all winter. I am stuck paying insurance and taxes on it and can't even live there. That is where I really want to be, but I can't afford to live there. I will not rent it because of a bad experience with a renter. My house is too nice.
I still wake up every morning hating my life, more so than ever lately. I was invited to the usual family Christmas Eve function, but decided I will stay home this year. I will curl up on the sofa in my pajamas and enjoy wine and chocolate while I watch movies. I never get to do that because I am always working. I will go to the family Christmas dinner, but I feel like the Grinch. What rotten timing all of this crap has! Proves to me that life still sucks.
If you read this far, thanks. I needed to vent.
Happy holidays to you and I hope you will be with loved ones.
Views: 55
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Comment by Susan B on December 23, 2011 at 2:44pm -
((((((((((((((((( Pattia )))))))))))))))))))))
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Comment by Paula Rene on December 21, 2011 at 10:35am -
I started to vent and got carried away and didn't address your situation. I am going to plow forward and try to get my house back in shape. Everyone tells me to sell it, rent it, etc. b/c it is too big for me. I finally got a better % rate making it cheaper than an apartment so I am considering renting a room to another single female. Hoping for another widow. Is that a possibility for you? In my case, when I want to be alone, I just go in my room but I know that there is someone else here.
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Comment by Paula Rene on December 21, 2011 at 10:28am
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Sounds like my life to a tee especially the house part. I can't sell it 1) b/c of the market but 2) when I put it on the market I had to do some repairs only to have them snowball all the way up to a new roof. I hired a reputable, highly recommended roofer (even made Angie's list), checked him out w/BBB, checked his insurance, etc. He put on a defective roof and I have had two insurance claims since his roof job in 2008. One ruined both hot water heaters and I was going to the gym to take my showers until I could get enough money to replace one hot water heater. The plumber I used came highly recommended, etc. and then an old high school friend who lives in another city, checked him out and found out he was lying and was not a licensed plumber. He knows I live alone and keeps calling to see if I've gotten the money to replace the "other" hot water heater. I feel so vulnerable. My counselor says, "the day I hire a lawyer, financial advisor, doctor, contractor, etc. who does not take advantage of me is the day we will celebrate."
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Comment by Joyce on December 19, 2011 at 8:27am -
Pattia: Of course I read the entire post, that's what we are here for. The only thing I can think of is to look into tutoring online at one point my stepson who is a teacher and had lost his job looked into teaching online. He could not do it because he needed full time work. It's worth a try. Sorry things are hitting you at once and at this time of the year. ((Hugs))
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Comment by Lisa (lost) Lamb on December 19, 2011 at 8:09am
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I'm so sorry everything is hitting you at once, but I'm beginging to think the best medicine for any of us is to vent. When we keep things inside they all seem to come back and bit us later. So vent all you need we are all here to listen.
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Comment by willo on December 19, 2011 at 4:50am -
the stressors are never ending arent they? every day has something to make you just want to give up but we keep ploding along...
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Comment by Marsha on December 18, 2011 at 8:24am -
Pattia so sorry you have to go through all this. The only thought I had was the same as Richelle, see if you can do some private tutoring. This new life path we are all on is difficult and challenging at times. All we can do is take it a day at a time and baby steps. WV is here when you need to vent. Sending hugs and hope the holidays bring you some joy.
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Comment by twinsmum on December 18, 2011 at 3:36am -
vent away......yes sucky time.....can you do some private tutoring... - maybe get some cash in hand you don't have to declare. Sorry I don't have any wonderful words of wisdom....we seem to do what we can and somehow in the end it works out but knowing the ins and outs we don't so we have to plod along and just wait for life to pan itself out. Richelle xx
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Comment by Dianne in Nevada on December 18, 2011 at 12:04am -
I have no words of advice, Pattia ... but want you to know that I care. I'm sorry that you're experiencing all of this. Vent all you want here. It does seem to help somehow; so come here whenever you need a shoulder to lean on. We'll be here to listen.
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