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As Furry As a Norseman, or, My Life with the Vikings: Part I, How the Heck Did I Get Into This?
One bit of advice I ran across in several places for adjusting to my new life as a widow was "Find some new interests, something fresh that you enjoy and that never involved your partner."
Well. Hmph. This wasn't going to be easy. We had always had a few separate interests and activities, in addition to those we shared. But even my old independent activities didn't hold much interest for me in that first sorry year. Finding something that would motivate me enough to get dressed and step out the door was a heck of big challenge.
Plus, as a senior citizen with some health issues, I had limits. No bungee jumping, no jitterbug marathons, no backpacking through the mountains. In fact, anything much tougher than driving to the library or dialing room service in a good hotel was pretty much beyond me. Interesting events that took place across the San Francisco Bay were difficult, because it's hard to go any place in the city without having to walk at least 4 blocks--about 2 over my capacity, and forget climbing those hills. Anything that involved being on my feet for more than ten minutes was out of the question.
The activities search was getting too hard to follow up on. In stressful times I hide in books. Especially old favorites. I stood staring at my bookshelves, hoping they'd either give me inspiration for what to do next or a different world I could crawl into in my imagination for a little longer. I'd already re-read most of my old favorites. I wandered over to another bookcase. Ah, here was a world I hadn't visited in a while. Three whole shelves of novels about Vikings--warrior Vikings, comic Vikings, romantic Vikings, explorer Vikings. What would it be?
Why Vikings? When I was growing up, Dad made a big point of reminding us kids we were descended from Vikings. He impressed on us how strong, brave, and resourceful those people were. Their reputation as bloodthirsty pirates was a bad rap laid on them by people they conquered. And it's true, if you look into the history, as I had, they weren't any worse than a lot of other people rampaging around in the Middle Ages. In fact, in some ways, they were better. They bathed oftener, their women had more rights and freedom, they had a more equitable justice system, their slaves had more ways to become free. Most Norse in that period were fishermen, farmers and traders, not raiders and looters. As is often the case, a few bad apples gave everybody a bad name.
In fact, I had looked into their history so thoroughly that the next bookcase over, 7 feet tall, 3 wide, 8 shelves, was packed with nonfiction books and DVDs about Vikings. A lot of it concentrated on women. Those gals had to be strong, tough, smart, and resourceful just to stay alive in those days. Not to mention the way they had to take over and run the family farm or conduct business when the men were on sea voyages that sometimes lasted years, or when their men died.
Gee. That was something like what I faced, wasn't it? I needed to be more like a Viking woman. I could almost feel Dad prodding me in the back.
It so happened that I had run across a local group of Viking re-enactors a few years ago. They seemed like pretty nice people. They had a lot of fun, and it was one place I could indulge my interest in all things Viking without boring the socks off people who didn't care about Norse history. I still had their website listed in my Favorites folder. John hadn't been interested in men who dressed up in furs and leather and pretended to fight with spears and axes, and I'd had so many other things going on in my life then, I'd lost touch with the group.
But hey. I had next to nothing going on now. And I needed to become like a Viking woman. So why not give it a whirl? This could be my new interest. I could really be a Viking woman.
I found the group's website and e-mailed the leader. He remembered me and was most welcoming and enthusiastic. They always wanted new members, especially women, and they had a couple of events coming up, could I be ready and participate? And what would my persona be, the character I would assume for my role?
Caught up by his energy, and a bit giddy with my own daring, I thought fast. They had female warriors, but I wasn't fit for that role. I didn't want to be the dull old woman sitting in the background winding yarn on a spindle, or have nothing at all to do. One of my main interests in Viking cullure is the mythology and religious beliefs, and I had recently read some interesting accounts of the seidr women, a sort of combination priestess and fortune teller. So I asked him, could they use a seidr woman?
By Thor, he was over the moon. None of the other groups on the West Coast had their own seidr woman. The only one he knew of was back in the Midwest somewhere. Did I have my costume yet, they had a presentation at the Sons of Norway Lodge next weekend, and the Norway Days Festival in San Francisco next month. I didn't have to drive myself, they'd pick me up, and I'd have a stool to sit on. An accurate costume wasn't necessary, just throw together something that would blend in, and they'd pick me up.
My goodness. I'd done it now. Bowled over by the novelty of someone being so excited to include me, I'd gone and said yes. Now what the heck was I going to do about a costume?
Comment
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Comment by Cristina on October 22, 2012 at 10:22pm -
Jordan, I know this is old news, but new to me....and, what a great read! I hope you found this to be a good spot for you. I love this whole blog, I have basically ignored my Norwegian ancestry, for all the bigoted reasons you mention above...my mother was born a Peterson. Her first name was Ruth, and all she ever told me of her Norwegian grandfather was how he would pronounce her name, "Droot." She said he was kind of scary. I've always leaned towards the other influences of my ancestry, but you give me hope.
Also, love the advice about finding something new to do, or something you didn't do with your partner...making music is crucial to me but also very very emotional, as that is what Billie gave me, music....however, your blog has given me the incentive to go ahead and try making art again, as well. I loved art as a young woman. Stopped when I was about 19...family issues. Competition, you know...just thought the other day about art, for the first time in decades, basically....so, this is what I needed to read, tonight. Thank you so much. And, I'm going looking to see if you've written a follow-up to this. Best wishes!!
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Comment by Suz on August 24, 2012 at 3:23pm -
Thanks Jordan. This is just delightful! This is a pleasure to read (and certainly represents a new interest for all of us) I have never heard of Norse reenactments! I am surprised because I live in Minnesota where everyone is Scandinavian. I have seen other enactments but I have never participated. It sounds like a lot of fun.
I also have not heard of taking up a new interest (some advice I have not received yet!!!). I have been told to something different at holidays and plan to go to Vermont to stay with the family of my daughter's boyfriend (soon to be fiance). The "new interest" is a good idea. I have picked up some of the old since my dear one died, making jewelry and doing vintage crafting.
I am half Norwegian, by way of the Bertleson's and Gunderson's. a clan of very strong woman, at least in their years in the US. I wish my husband could be here to read this. He grew up thinking he was Irish, only to find out that his last name was changed quickly when a group of Vikings hid out in Ireland. As he told me, he now felt he came from rapers and pillagers (this from a History major). I wish I could set him straight.
I would be a good walking partner for you. I, too, have health issues and am good for about two blocks! We also spent our early years in San Francisco.
Thanks for such a delightful blog. I can't wait to hear what you will wear!
Warmly,
Suz
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Comment by willo on August 24, 2012 at 2:40pm -
i love this!!! how daring (viking) of you : )
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Comment by Brandywine Gal on July 20, 2012 at 2:07pm -
How crazy and fun! I hadn't read about finding a new interest, something we didn't do. WOW, that is really tough as we did everything together, cook, garden, travel, enjoy family, love our doggie. What else is there? History-oh we studied that together. What interest is hiding back in the cobwebs, something of interest? I draw a complete blank. Thinking over high school and college daze what had I left behind? Perhaps in time it will surface. This is day 42 for me since my sweet husband, my best friend passed away, my husband of 39 years. So how could there be a new interest?
I can tell you many things I miss like cooking together, and for him, of planning our next trip, and did I mention travel? I want to take a cruise this Fall that is simply perfect on HAL, but I need a travel companion you know to share the cabin with. Now that is a problem to solve, but not a new interest.
I have never been interested in anything mechanical and I don't plant to now-isn't that why I have AAA and a son & son-in-law for? Tennis, swimming, hiking? Never been much interested in sports-you break nails and it's not my thing. I use to make jewelry, but I already have too much, well a girl can never have too much jewelry, but no interest in casting gold any more. I designed too much of jewelry, furniture, etc during my career as VP of Merchandising. OK new interest, eh? That is going to be a tough one.
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Comment by Susan B on January 21, 2012 at 7:39pm -
Wow! on the edge of my seat, Jordan! This is great stuff--good writing, by Thor!
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Comment by pumpkin on January 21, 2012 at 1:16pm -
Jordan, just read this and it is GREAT. Give me inspiration- what next for me? I'll wait to read your next post!
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Comment by Jackie (lvgma) on January 21, 2012 at 1:07pm -
You go girl, I can see it now- thrift stores here u come. What a great idea to find something that you are interested in and that you didn't do with your husband. Danny and I had a short 11 years, but we did everything together too- now you have me thinking of finding something that will be my own..thanks
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Comment by bad ass widow on January 20, 2012 at 9:03pm -
I am loving this so far, cant wait to read the next chapter.
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Comment by Dianne in Nevada on January 20, 2012 at 8:50pm -
Love this, Jordan. Can't wait for Part 2!
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