And they acted like they didn't know.

Comment

Comment by carolynne on June 19, 2012 at 10:37am

(((Ash))) My Rod died so suddenly, I don't have anything to offer those of you who suffered through your loved ones' illnesses and suffering, but it breaks my heart that you two were treated so horribly during his last months. Sending much love and hugs and prayers for peace. xo

Comment by Suz on June 6, 2012 at 10:51am

Ash...I am sorry you got treated so horribly. Sometimes I just hate all medical people. I am stunned that you were told to get an oncologist right before your husband died.We had good doctors and we had bad. I still am angry at the ones who were unkind. 

Comment by bad ass widow on June 5, 2012 at 3:29pm

Awe Ashleigh, (((hugs)))  I am so sorry that you had to go thru that - (Ali, Gloria, Lisa and topwag too)  We were very lucky with our oncologist and his team.  They were kind and compassionate from day one. I had asked them to be totally honest with me and pull no punches and they did as I asked.  They knew that my husband didnt have a clue and was in total denial and they treated him with kid gloves. Although I always had hope, because of their honesty and the resources that they provided me with I knew what to expect.  No one in this world can predict when a person will die, there are so many variables that come into play.  The oncologist and I agreed that our main goal would be to keep Keith comfortable and as pain free as we could for as long as we could.  It was not until much later after he died that I learned Keith had lied to the doctors about his alchohol intake.  If he had told them the truth we would have been able to alleviate the pain much sooner.

Again, I am sorry that you all had such rotten experiences, but know that there are some great oncologists out there.

Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on June 5, 2012 at 1:51pm

fking doctors....most are cold, compassionless, money grubbing slimebags.

Comment by topwag (Becky) on June 5, 2012 at 8:28am

Wow... my story is similar. We were doing treatment in Florida and it was grueling. 12 doctors he had. I needed a break and flew home for a week and his brother came down to be with him for that week. That week that I was gone, the nurse practioner told my husband to go home and call hospice. I was livid. Why, why why did she do this when I was gone?... one week I am gone in 18 months and she springs this on him. I then called the oncologist who apologized. Really? Shouldn't this information come from your primary oncologist instead of a NP and when I was there. They never gave us any indication that we could not win this battle. This was such a blow and I was a 1000 miles away. I hurried back and we was gone two weeks later. Still angry about how it was presented to him. We got a call from the nurse's oncologist the next week, wanting to know if he was going to do chemo ... I'm sure it was just to fill that appt spot for someone else. I am still very angry with the oncologist about how all of this played out. It was just so insensitive and wrong.

Comment by Lisa (lost) Lamb on June 5, 2012 at 3:58am

Oh Ashleigh, My husbands Oncologist was just like that. I think they lose their compassion because they see so much death. I feel they should have to retake some kind of sensitivity training once a year. My husbands knew that with all the pain meds they had him on he had no idea what they said or even who said it seconds later. I even had it put in his chat that no one was to tell my husband any bad news without running it past me first. When I got to the Hospital one morning and my husband was crying, didn't know what doc. he had seen but they had him sign a DNR with out me being there. In other words they told KC that he was dieing and soon then walked out the door and left him alone. What kind of people do something like that? One thing I can say is it only took me 2 hours to pack him up and get him away from those people. He came home and lived his last 13 days at home no one poking him and talking about him dieing. I protected him until the very end, and would do it again in a heart beat.