A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
My Story
Pete and I had been together for 5 years. We were living together for the last year and a half. We were constantly engaged in working out and were training together twice a day for Ironman CDA (Idaho) with his best friend.
Pete finished his first Ironman in August of 2011 with an amazing time of just over 12 hours. He was hoping to beat his time this year. He was a very strong athlete and a constant cheerleader for others. Our days would be filled with him waking me up, us going for a workout, him cooking me breakfast and checking on the garden while I finished getting ready, driving us to work (we carpooled as we both work for different division of the same company), driving us home from work, working out, and then relaxing together. So you can see this man was amazing. He would go to the ends of the Earth for me and I constantly feel like I failed him.
He passed away on April 19th, 2012. I found him in bed around 8:15am and tried to do CPR. He was sent to the hospital and we were in for a very long morning. Time of death was 9:20am. I don't think they were able to get a response but I don't know the full story and I'm scared to ask. The cops wouldn't let me see the body until they did a house check to make sure I hadn't done anything. Ridiculous but its standard practice because he was so young. Cause - Athlete's Heart Syndrome. He had a genetic history of cardiovascular problems in the family.
His brother found the engagement ring (and wedding band) that we had talked about in his safe. I'm sure he would have proposed at Ironman CDA on June 24th. His birthday is the next day. I've decided to continue on with the race even though I know I will not be up to snuff. The stress has really effected my abilities. But I know Pete would have wanted me to complete my goal.
Many complications now. Financial, his family, legal. You all know the drill. I'm telling everyone I know now to write a will and to be your own health advocate. Doesn't seem the doctors can be left with all the trust of care.
Alone in the house. Quiet. Feels like I have a thousand thank you cards to write and very little time to write them in the proper length of my gratitude.
I turn 30 in July and I really don't feel like celebrating life. My life. In the place where I feel like, what is the point? (and not in a suicidal way)
Views: 100
Comment
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Comment by suebru (Sue) on August 29, 2012 at 5:19pm -
Heather, I am so sorry for your loss; your Pete sounds like he was one amazing man and athlete. Situations such as Pete's are just hard to wrap our heads around. I had a similar situation so I understand.
Did you do the Ironman CDA? Take care and please know I am her if you ever want to "talk".
Hugs, Sue :-)
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Comment by jimswife33 (Michelle) on July 13, 2012 at 11:46pm -
Heather,
Im so sorry for you loss. I hope you can find some hope and healing here. This is a great community. Im sorry you have to be here but glad you found us.
Michelle
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Comment by Sunflower37 on June 15, 2012 at 11:28pm -
Hi Heather, I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your Pete. I loss my Kevin on April 30, 2011, I found out May 1, 2011. We were together for (5) years as well. Hugs to you. Sunflower.
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Comment by Greggies Widow on June 10, 2012 at 2:31pm -
Heather,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I'm so proud of you for sharing it.
I am so sorry that you lost Pete. I lost my fiancé in 2010.
I am here for you, to walk beside you and offer you support and encouragement in any way that I can.
Hugs,
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Comment by gcortez55 on June 9, 2012 at 7:31pm -
oh heather. i am so sorry.
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Comment by chez2all on June 8, 2012 at 8:53pm -
Hi Heather, I am so sorry for your sudden loss. This is a difficult journey but please know that you are not alone here. We are all on our own individual journey but I have found an enormous amount of support and plenty of people willing to listen when you need to vent. It truly does help to talk to people who 'get' it.
I have lost 2 husbands, one after long term illness 11 years ago (he was 39 and the father of our 3 children) and the 2nd to suicide in March this year(he was 46). I was facing my 52nd birthday in May and dreading it. But on the day I found myself experiencing an enormous peace and enjoying our quiet celebrations with my 3 children and friends and family. Remember to be kind to yourself and breathe...it does help.
Thinking of you, Chez
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Comment by Suz on June 8, 2012 at 8:53pm -
Heather,
What a sad story. I am so sorry this happened to the man you loved and really sorry about what a mess things are...all the complications. You just don't think this is going to happen to someone that is so young and so healthy. I understand about not feeling like celebrating. I lost my Jud to pancreatic cancer on February 24 and so far, have made it through his birthday and Mother's Day. I just don't feel like celebrating anything right now.
I wish you peace and, some day, happiness,
Suz
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