A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Just a little bit..
I was having coffee with a friend today (i.e. laying on my couch, as I have a bout of Chronic Fatigue and am just beat). We were talking a relationship I have with a couple of old friends that has gone Deep South. Very sad. A fifty year friendship. While we were talking about this, she recalled a convention she attended about positive thinking and forgiveness. The man running the conference suggested writing three positive memories a day about the person. The researcher who had studied this found it was really successful in improving relationships.
I jumped to using the same technique for writing blogs. It is hard for me to sit down and write a whole blog. I seem to still be in somewhat of a fog and have a lack of focus right now at four months out. Still, I am almost frantic with worry at times that I will forget Jud or nor proceed through my grief as I would like to. So using this same technique, modified a little, I am going to start writing three memories a day (and also memories and issues about Jud's illness and dying) in a notebook next to my bed. Hopefully this will help me to realize that I can remember many things about our almost forty years of life together. Maybe some will serve as blog starters. Maybe some will even someday be a help for memory books for future grandchildren.
I am anxious to see how it works and will let you know if it is helpful.
Views: 67
Comment
-
Comment by kimkirt (KK) on July 2, 2012 at 9:51am -
Good idea, Suz! Like Fred mentioned, I too went through a time where I feared I was leaving the memories behind and I had to hurry and hold onto them. Now, I feel as though I can visit them whenever I want to. I think that what you are doing is a wonderful idea and I might jump on board with you!
-
Comment by Rebirth.Tanya (Tanya) on July 1, 2012 at 11:14pm -
Love this idea too, Suz. I was also so afraid of forgetting, especially the little things. I put together a list of all of Sergio's favorite things and this became a page in the tribute book I did for him. I can still recall most of them almost eleven years later, but am so glad to see the ones that slipped my mind whenever I look through the book on the anniversary. And, Celestia is right- the bad memories mellow while the good gets better with time...thanks for sharing. <3
-
Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on July 1, 2012 at 10:42pm -
awesome Suz. in a writing class i took, the leader would often start us off with "i remember....." and that would trigger a ton of memories and details that i thought i'd lost. its a wonderful idea.
-
Comment by Ccdague on June 30, 2012 at 11:39pm -
Lovely idea Suz......this will become your personal blog....you can publish what you wish. I am looking forward to reading any of those that make it to our site. You an insightful and creative woman. Strong, too.
Hugs.....
Carol
-
Comment by celestia (Suzanne) on June 30, 2012 at 1:51pm -
Great idea!
From what I've witnessed, fear of forgetting is fairly common among us. I can't remember anymore if I had that fear, but probably I did. You will always remember Jud. The good and the bad of his sickness. The bad mellows in time but the good gets better with time.
-
Comment by jean on June 30, 2012 at 10:33am -
Love this Suz. Thanks for sharing. I understand your worry. Took me a long time to remember him healthy and alive instead of sick. (((hugs))) it gets better.. just took time. My daughter had the same problem. I love this idea. Will try this myself. Thank you
-
Comment by Joyce on June 29, 2012 at 11:07pm -
Great idea Suz, thanks for sharing!
-
Comment by Cristina on June 29, 2012 at 9:33pm -
Great idea, Suz!! Good luck with it!
-
Comment by Dianne in Nevada on June 29, 2012 at 7:15pm -
I like this, Suz. A little bit like the Gratitude Journal I keep ... 5 things each day to be grateful for, even if it's just getting out of bed and getting dressed!
-
Comment by hendrixx2 on June 29, 2012 at 7:08pm -
Hi Suzer,
The idea of reminding ourselves of the positive traits of those with whom we have issues appears to have some merit; it may actually aid us not only in possibly repairing relationships, but yes, as you say, reminding us of the things we fear we will forget about our loved ones. I too at one point lived weeks on end if fear that I would not be able to recall much of my life with DJ, after a while those memories returned in a flood, as I had been told they would. It had been the shock evidently, preventing me from remembering them. I hope the process serves you well and look forward to the results it may offer..Thank you for adding more tools the box I visit often to help make the road more even.
This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
HOT TOPICS!
© 2013 Created by Supa Dupa Fresh.
You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!
Join Widowed Village