A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Yes, I am frustrated,so very frustrated with well meaning people that think they have all of the answers to my new life situation as a widow and single parent. My highest degree of frustration is towards my in-laws, especially because their well-intentioned advice is actually their way of trying to control me. I get emails and phone calls and I found myself biting my tongue so I don't curse them out, and I hold back from writing my true feelings in an email.
Currently it is the "nice and considerate" brother-in-law who has me so irked that I want to say vulgar words out loud. How can someone like my brother-in-law, who is my age (46 years old) yet still lives in a room at his father's house, has never been married, hell- has never been in a long term relationship, has never been a parent, and has never relocated to a different state- seem to think that he knows what is best for me? He comes across on the phone as so nice and concerned, but everything he says is negative or based in fear. I am so tired of his comments about how I should not move back home, how I should do this, how I should do that. He is being controlling- his whole family is. If I want to move back to be near my family, that is my decision to make after I weigh the pros, the cons, the risks and the benefits. I am well aware it is not a simple decision as New Jersey is a very high cost area, but I have given myself until next Spring to decide. I am researching school districts, rents, tax rates, and the job situation, which is not encouraging. During the interim, I am taking a hard look at the costs, my budget, and trying to forecast what I will need to make in New Jersey were I to live there. However, the thought of staying here in Texas so far away from family that never visits, just depresses me!! I don't want to be here for the rest of my life- I know that to be true for myself. My heart tells me to move back as my son and I are alone out here. I don't have roots here, I want my son and I to be around family.
Thanks for listening to my rant.