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Do any of you feel like people try to take advantage of your grieving?  I feel as though I am very cautious of certain people and companies.  I went to call Verizon to change the plan to my name and to close my husband's line. The first time I was on the phone they told me I could take my time to send the DC in and they would take care of it.  I asked follow up questions and after the 5th question I found out they were going to keep the line open and keep charging me for it.  I still owed money on the phone and the guy told me that in order to keep paying monthly for the phone I have to keep the line open.  I told him I would rather just pay it off instead of keeping it open since no one is using it.  Then he proceeded to try to suggest that I keep the line open and purchase a tablet for my kids so they can have something to use.  I got off the phone with him, in tears, in the middle of the Verizon store.  

I called back a couple of days later and was very direct.  This person said I didn't need to send the DC in, which I had already done, because they just take your word for it.  Then she asked me if I was sure I didn't want to keep the line open so I could keep his voicemail recording.  I told her no, we have lots of videos and his voice recording is just him saying his name.  Okay she says and then a minute later, are you sure you don't want to get a tablet so you can keep the number and the information.  Then I start second guessing myself and wondering am I erasing him if I close this?  He wouldn't want me to keep it open for no reason and waste that money. 

I finally convince her that I don't want to buy anything additional and I really do want to close the number.  Then I ask her to please change all correspondence to my name so emails and alerts don't come addressed to him.  I am still getting everything addressed to him, but I decided to give it a week and if it doesn't change I think I might have to take to Twitter to complain.  I get it, you don't want to lose any money, but do you completely lack compassion.  I am now a single mother with a reduced income and you are going to fight me about closing something I don't need to save a little money.

Unfortunately I can't change to a different carrier as Verizon is the only one that comes in clearly where I live.  It is just frustrating and disappointing.

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Comment by Lauri on April 17, 2017 at 10:19am

Oh boy, I sure can relate to the issues with Verizon! I went into the store 4 times to get things taken care of. Every time I went there, I left thinking it was done ( getting my husband's line shut down). Each time, they screwed something up. Two months later, I was driving across the country and realized my cell phone had been shut off. I found a Verizon store, in the middle of nowhere, and they were able to help. We called customer service from the store and found out someone had put a note in my account that said they were to suspend all service - not just on the one line. Got it taken care of and I got back on the road. Two weeks later, the same thing happened! Again, I went to Verizon and got it taken care of. I'm, finally, feeling confident the issue is actually fixed - that was back in January. What a ridiculous ordeal that was. 

My husband's 20 year old daughter came to me the day after we lost him and wanted to borrow a vehicle - she wanted to take it up to where she goes to college, 4 hours away, and keep it for a week. We had purchased it just three weeks before that (we hadn't even made the first payment). I told her no and she threw a fit, stomped out of my house and sent me a text that said, "My dad would have said yes". I was so angry that I didn't even respond because I would rather have been silent than say all the nasty things I was thinking. Again, this is less than  24 hours after I watched him take his last breath. To top it all off, after his celebration of life, she pulled me aside and said she wanted to "go through all the cards" with me so we could "split the money". I was absolutely beside myself. I looked at her and said, "Goodbye" and walked away. I wish I would have said, "Sure. Then, we can go through all of the bills and split them, too." Oh, hindsight.....Anyway, I just wanted to share this because I am another widow who "gets it". There are people out there just waiting to take advantage. It's frustrating and can be so upsetting - especially when it's someone "close", like your step-daughter.

Thanks for listening : ) 

Comment by widow85 on April 13, 2017 at 6:49am

Ugh, What sales-hungry dunderheads. I got a nice Verizon rep who suggested I close my husband's account -- then she opened a new one for me just to give me a bunch of discounts as a new account holder. She was a sweetheart, kept saying "Wait, I found another freebie for you!" I did temporarily lose my Verizon email history as an unintended consequence, but it all worked out.

Comment by Athena53 on March 15, 2017 at 5:23am

Bergen, what's happening with the mailing lists is that marketers are required to run their mailing lists against the Post Office database of address changes.  Your change of address form may have, by default, included everyone at your old address, so your new address got associated with DH,too.  I suppose there's some way to contact the Direct Mail Marketing Association and get his name removed from lists.

I have a warped sense of humor and thought it was funny when DH got solicitations for guaranteed-issue life insurance ("You cannot be turned down!") after he died.  The catch, BTW, is that if you die within the first two years all they do is return the premiums you paid.  If I'm feeling ornery I write "DECEASED- RETURN TO SENDER" on the front and put it back in the mail.

Comment by Rockon on March 14, 2017 at 2:38pm

This is so REAL! Thank All of You for the brutal truthful comments! This site keeps me sane as I have been widowed/alone for 7 years next month, April 18th. I am certainly not rich and must say that is just fine with me as I have struggled to survive and try hard to be content. Nothing comes Easy!     

I do not post often, but just want to say "Thank-You" for being able to live this reality with each other.  

Comment by NoLongerInBergenJC on March 14, 2017 at 1:56pm

When my husband died a colleague who has no filters asked me, "So did your husband leave you a rich widow?"  And I answered, "If he did, I would not be standing here with YOU right now, you can be sure of THAT."

Here's what's weird...I moved over 500 miles away a little over a year ago.  And I get mail addressed to my husband.  It's not mail that he used to get and they somehow got the new address; this is mail from local merchants!  I have no mortgage, the house is in only my name.  I don't know how they get it.  It doesn't bother me one bit because if I get mail with a "husband's" name on it, it isn't so obvious that I live alone.

Comment by guilloma (Joanna) on March 14, 2017 at 10:36am

My husband's son called about his inherited account the day that my husband died.  I had not even visited the funeral home yet to make the arrangements, and his son was calling to claim his money.  People continue to amaze me.

For cancellations and things, my mom offered to call; she just pretends to be me.  She doesn't mind sitting on the phone, and she doesn't cry when they are insensitive like I do.  Cell phone and cable companies seem to be the worst.  For the most part, though, I have found that people are sympathetic.  

Comment by Imogen on March 14, 2017 at 10:20am

I found everyone thinks you are rich because your spouse died.  Took my sister about two months to ask for money.  Of course said no.

I am very careful with trades people.  I say he is golfing, or something.  My friend leaves mens shoes at the door just to make it look like a man lives there

Comment by Really? on March 14, 2017 at 10:01am

Do I ever feel like ppl are trying to take advantage of me because I'm a widow? Yes, indeed. I still wear my husband's ring but I wear it on my right hand. In certain situations, I'll switch hands just bc I've had the experience more than once that as soon as someone's aware I don't have a man there to protect me, they pounce.

I haven't had too much trouble with the over-the-phone stuff, though. Usually, when I've told someone I needed to drop my husband's name from an account or something and they found out why, they were very sympathetic and hurried to get done whatever needed doing. Those little compassionate interactions have helped me enormously, especially in the beginning. I comforted myself with the repeated evidence that people are, on the whole, very kind and well-meaning. It's only more recently bc I've had to interact with contractor-types in person that I've had some of the more negative interactions. Of course, a single woman dealing with those types often has to put up with crap, whether or not she's a widow.

Your story really aggravates me. Sounds like they are 100% taking advantage of your vulnerability. I'm guessing that it's just company policy to be aggressive about having customers keep lines open, but you're right, the sales rep ought to have the common decency to let your "sale" go and move on to the next call. The most manipulative bit was that question about whether you didn't want to save the recording. Holy smoke! NONE of her business!

I'm sorry that happened to you. Twitter about it if it helps you, but it might not get the result you want. In your shoes, what I would do (and I'm not--- my widow shoes are of course different from yours so I'm only sharing what's worked for me in case it might help!!!), is set a timer for 45 minutes, research to find a real person/ management address, write a letter that is very succinct explaining what you wanted and what you instead got, and asking them to please confirm in writing to you you that your wish to have his name be removed from all correspondence has been honored. And then I'd let it go. Your time/ energy is precious and this way you know they only got 45 minutes of it. I actually use this timer-setting thing for all kinds of stuff that has the potential to become bigger in my life than it ought to be.

Comment by Orb101214 on March 14, 2017 at 8:40am

I was at the corporate store and they said they couldn't help me so I had to call in.  They let me use their phone which is why I was crying in the middle of the store.  I am glad it is done though, one more thing off my list.

Comment by Lark on March 10, 2017 at 9:32pm
I hear you! Try dealing in person at a "corporate store." Worked for me.

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