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Music has always played a huge roll in my life.  Since birth I've had headphones on, even to the point where I hear music when there is none.  There has always been a song for my mood.  No matter how funky or blue, happy or melancholy I've always been able to find music that fits.  However over the last few years especially I've found myself searching for something that's out of reach.  Nothing makes me happy or soothes the mood.  Nothing fits.

Love songs are just a painful reminder of what I've lost.  Breakup songs just piss me off.  Our relationship had not ended by choice, or by the mistakes either one of us made.  Even the blues doesn't give me what I need, because now I judge the bluesman on his pain.  Not fair, but that doesn't change how I feel.

Live music had always been a passion of ours.  Our courtship began at a Def Leppard concert.  Over the years we had been to more shows than I could count.  A few stand out though.  Vicky had always been such a huge Garth Brooks fan, she tried to drag me to a show 20 years ago.  Not being much of a country fan at the time I declined.  I did promise to take her next time.  That turned out to be a year later, and again I declined.  I felt bad about that for 20 years.  The last few years Garth came back around, and even though we needed a wheelchair to get her there (she had battled cancer for 8 years) I finally took her.

If you've never heard "The Dance" by Garth Brooks, do yourself a favor and go listen.  Bring some tissues, because it's bound to hit home.  It's about being grateful for having had a good life together.  It's about being glad you didn't know how things would end.

I count it among my favorite blessings, being able to hold her during that song.  Got to do it twice, though I wish it were twenty times.

None of us can see the future.  We couldn't before, and we won't after this.  I wouldn't change a thing that we'd done.  Not one thing.  I hope to carry that mentality into the next chapter of my life.  I hope I never question where or when things will ever end in the future.  I trust and believe that God keeps a path clear for me, so long as I'm looking for it.  I would hate to think what I'd have missed if I had avoided all the pain, as bad as it's been.  I truly want to feel joy again.  I know it may be years, but I can accept that.  What I won't do is leave anything on the table.  Vicky never did.

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Comment by kellygreenstrat (Colin) on April 13, 2017 at 3:40pm

Thank you for the kind words Callie.  Music is therapeutic.  I checked out The Prayer and Believe.  Beautiful songs.  Believe really did hit home, and throughout the song it built with emotion.  Thank you for that.

Comment by Callie2 on April 12, 2017 at 1:05pm
THE PRAYER with Lyrics Celine Dion & Andrea Bocelli_By Moonlight6869 Sorry I cannot provide a direct link but if you can access YouTube or even Google, type that in and give a listen, the video is beautiful.

Another inspirational song, IMO, is Ronnie Dunn's "Believe". His vocals are powerful.
Comment by Callie2 on April 11, 2017 at 10:01pm
I always loved "The Dance" but it really took on new meaning after losing my husband. So true. Also "If Tomorroe Never Comes" has a lot of relevance. I have always had a love for music, many genres, and it has always been an important part of my life. A really beautiful tune by Celine Dion and Andre Bocelli entitled "The Prayer" is uplifting, you can find that on YouTube.

I am hooked on Sirius radio in my car, it is expensive but I really enjoy it. No commercials and you can find any type of music you like and being satelite, it is crispy clear with no static! Music actually helps to release serotonin--a feel-good chemical in the brain. This also helps with chronic pain which is another reason I use a headset or blue-tooth while exercising. Music is therapeutic.

Life is much like "The Dance". Love is worth the pain. You will find joy once again and find the strength to move forward with your life. I think the song helps us put things into a unique perspective, one that is bitter-sweet but also makes us aware of the special gift we were given. It's not a snapshot of our lives, it's a panorama. Peace to you.

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