Since I lost my dear husband to liver cancer, December 1, 2016, the first year went by in a haze. Now I am starting year two and it has finally hit me that I will not be seeing Gil anymore. This Christmas was pretty hard. I just went through the motions, but I could not get into the festive activities and parties. I bought a few Christmas sweaters, and a new dress. I did get to wear both of the sweaters. The dress is still sitting behind my bedroom door.
I don't know why I bought the dress. There are plenty of things to do here in DC, but I don't have any real friends here anymore. I don't like going places by myself. This place is full of stuff to do. Sometimes I feel like that I'm just biding time to get through another day. I don't feel numb and the pain isn't as raw, but some days I just have a weird feeling I can't explain. It can appear out of nowhere and then my energy is zapped followed by a low feeling. Has anyone experienced this?
I have plenty of clothing, but I have resigned myself to wearing jeans and sweaters. That's all I have the energy for. The short and dark cold days aren't helping either. I just want to get out of this funk.
If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to reply.