I had the operation on the 20th, the wounds were very painful so I stayed in hospital for five days. I came home last Sunday. My daughter stayed till Tuesday lunchtime so today was my first day on my own. It has been a struggle to get through the day. I am still weak and with the drains and "handbag" to carry everywhere housework is a nightmare. I keep telling myself it is only for four weeks but that doesn't seem to help. I do have a housekeeping service coming a couple of hours a week so only have to get meals and do everyday tasks so it should be doable.

I know I am lucky to have my daughter close by and that she is willing to help me out, without her help I would have ended up in a care home for the recuperation period. That has happened to so many of my older acquaintances, it is common to think of the over 70s as likely to have poor general health and liable to be at the start of Alzheimer's. Ageism is still one form of discrimination and it is easy to push aside other health issues with the thought that it is age to blame rather than a specific illness. I am glad that was not my experience.

My garden was watered by three different people on Saturday and then it rained on Sunday and Monday so that was one problem off my mind. It was lovely to have Shirley's company for a couple of days. It is lonely and a bit echoey here without her. The ticking of the clock and night bird noises is what I hear at this time of night. The neighborhood quietens down early on school nights and my good neighbours are away for a few days. I do so long for the days when our family were all living within 20 Kilometres of here. I would love to be able to see my grandchildren every week instead of two or three times a year. I do love them all. In a way I had this latest operation so I would be active and able to spend more time with them.

It is not good for me to have too much time alone and I still have three weeks ahead of me when I will be housebound. I will fill in time as best I can. It is officially the last day of summer today and I have not seen much of the sea or done any swimming despite the fact that I live right over the first dune from  it. The wound from the melanoma operation took so long to heal and now I have more wounds that have  to heal. Inspiring as pain and hardship is supposed to be I am not impressed by it. After all I have been through I didn't expect a perfect life but would have liked a peaceful one. And hopefully with plenty of family involvement.

I am expecting to hear from a few friends and acquaintances in the next few weeks, a few were cross with me for not letting them know I was in need of help last time. I am not usually a person who asks for help so it is hard for me  to admit my need for anything involving lifting or stretching while I have the drains to consider every time I need to do something. I know I am whining a bit tonight but nothing seems right . The world moved on without me being aware of it doing so. Then suddenly I remember back to five months ago to when I thought I might lose my leg. Then I am thankful to still have two legs however bruised and battered.

So the operation is over, the convalescence has begun. Four weeks seemed a long time when it was still ahead of me but a week has gone by since the operation and I am having a check up on 14th March so that will be one landmark to look towards. I know time goes fast when you're having fun and slow when you're having none so I had better find some fun things to do. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself too, no-one likes a Sad Sack as my mother used to say.