About
This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
Going to be a long journey to recovery
I had the operation on the 20th, the wounds were very painful so I stayed in hospital for five days. I came home last Sunday. My daughter stayed till Tuesday lunchtime so today was my first day on my own. It has been a struggle to get through the day. I am still weak and with the drains and "handbag" to carry everywhere housework is a nightmare. I keep telling myself it is only for four weeks but that doesn't seem to help. I do have a housekeeping service coming a couple of hours a week so only have to get meals and do everyday tasks so it should be doable.
I know I am lucky to have my daughter close by and that she is willing to help me out, without her help I would have ended up in a care home for the recuperation period. That has happened to so many of my older acquaintances, it is common to think of the over 70s as likely to have poor general health and liable to be at the start of Alzheimer's. Ageism is still one form of discrimination and it is easy to push aside other health issues with the thought that it is age to blame rather than a specific illness. I am glad that was not my experience.
My garden was watered by three different people on Saturday and then it rained on Sunday and Monday so that was one problem off my mind. It was lovely to have Shirley's company for a couple of days. It is lonely and a bit echoey here without her. The ticking of the clock and night bird noises is what I hear at this time of night. The neighborhood quietens down early on school nights and my good neighbours are away for a few days. I do so long for the days when our family were all living within 20 Kilometres of here. I would love to be able to see my grandchildren every week instead of two or three times a year. I do love them all. In a way I had this latest operation so I would be active and able to spend more time with them.
It is not good for me to have too much time alone and I still have three weeks ahead of me when I will be housebound. I will fill in time as best I can. It is officially the last day of summer today and I have not seen much of the sea or done any swimming despite the fact that I live right over the first dune from it. The wound from the melanoma operation took so long to heal and now I have more wounds that have to heal. Inspiring as pain and hardship is supposed to be I am not impressed by it. After all I have been through I didn't expect a perfect life but would have liked a peaceful one. And hopefully with plenty of family involvement.
I am expecting to hear from a few friends and acquaintances in the next few weeks, a few were cross with me for not letting them know I was in need of help last time. I am not usually a person who asks for help so it is hard for me to admit my need for anything involving lifting or stretching while I have the drains to consider every time I need to do something. I know I am whining a bit tonight but nothing seems right . The world moved on without me being aware of it doing so. Then suddenly I remember back to five months ago to when I thought I might lose my leg. Then I am thankful to still have two legs however bruised and battered.
So the operation is over, the convalescence has begun. Four weeks seemed a long time when it was still ahead of me but a week has gone by since the operation and I am having a check up on 14th March so that will be one landmark to look towards. I know time goes fast when you're having fun and slow when you're having none so I had better find some fun things to do. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself too, no-one likes a Sad Sack as my mother used to say.
Views: 179
Comment
-
Comment by only1sue on March 15, 2018 at 7:29pm -
- I now have only one drain, the two in my leg have o gone. I'll still have dressings for a while yet but feel some progress has taken place. I will be able to drive next week only locally but just to get out of here will be such freedom. It has been difficult at times not to give in to tears and self-pity but I think I've survived the worst of it now.
-
Comment by Callie2 on March 13, 2018 at 2:42am -
You’ve been through a lot. I sure hope you get some good news tomorrow, you certainly deserve some! Sending a prayer for you.
-
Comment by only1sue on March 12, 2018 at 5:18pm
-
Had another day of medical procedures yesterday, seems like one day forward and then a setback. Tomorrow I am going back down to Sydney to see then specialist's team so will find out if the healing process is on track. I guess there is no such thing as normal on this recovery period
-
Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on March 12, 2018 at 7:14am -
Hope you are starting to feel better Sue. Hugs.
-
Comment by Rainy (Misty) on March 1, 2018 at 8:52am -
I'm glad you're doing well. It's okay to have a little pity party every now and then! Four weeks does seem like a long time, but perhaps it will go by quick. Try not to worry so much about the little things, they can all wait. Your healing is the only thing that's important now.
-
Comment by Callie2 on February 28, 2018 at 7:08pm
-
You have every right to grumble a little after all you’ve been through! One positive thing is that you are home and able to recuperate there. After five days in the hospital, I’m sure it feels good to sleep in your own bed and not be woken up by hospital noise or a nurse waking you up to to take vitals. I hope you don’t have too much pain to deal with and that you begin to see progress soon. I know how you feel about asking for help as I hate to do that too! Sometimes we need to though, so if anyone should offer, take them up on it.
Any good movies on TV? I don’t know how your TV’s are set up. We have to pay for ours through cable. They offer pay for view movies and offer a decent amount of choices though I rarely use it. I probably would if I were in a situation like you, find a good comedy or one to take your mind off things for a bit. Laughter is always good. Take care of yourself!
-
Comment by laurajay on February 28, 2018 at 9:33am -
Go ahead and whine Sue. We get it and many of us older folks have the same feelings about adversity not being the great empowering experience. i too struggle to keep each day filled with meaning and gratitude. No way I ever imagined how stressful it would become as age increased the number of things I could no longer take for granted. So many things have required me to change my standards! My housekeeping and entertaining standards have ben downgraded just because it's difficult to do it all between pain and weariness and being alone. And when you life a live style that you can't keep up and want to it is frustrating and lonely in finding the answers to a new way of life. Don't count weeks. Take one day at a time and know it takes longer for physical healing with an older body. Hope your helpers do help you to ease the burden of work while you are waiting to heal in the weeks to come. Sometimes I cry for wanting even one day of good health and family in tact. Near me. Being homebound is not the worst thing that you can experience. Try to find small snatches of pleasure as you convalesce. When you grow weary-rest Good to see you are well enough to post. Hugs lj
© 2018 Created by Soaring Spirits.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!
Join Widowed Village