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I have been invited to a wedding`
But really, I don't want to go, Short of pulling the "W" card, how do I get out of this? I'd be going alone, I don't do weddings well anyway and about the last thing I want to deal with is risking a DUI, because I WILL drink at it and its in New Jersey and I live on Staten Island, so a cab isn't an option. How the Hell do I get out of this gracefully?
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Comment
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Comment by dolly on November 19, 2019 at 9:11am -
I have never heard it called the W card..lol thanks for the smile..Frankly the first time I had to check 'widow' on a form, it was quite jarring for me. I even wondered if I wanted to join a place called 'widow village' :) but I am glad I did! I am getting used to accepting the status of being a widow
As for the wedding, my 2 cents worth is just do what you really want...whether you use the W card or not, no doubt some will use it for you even if you do not
Anyway...I wish you only the best...we all need to try to be good to ourselves because we deserve it! God Bless
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Comment by Don on October 28, 2019 at 10:34am
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Hi Barb, I really only hear from or my relatives on holidays at theirs or my sister's house. My sister is the one who is close to them, especially since they all ran to Jersey and I'm still living in the house we grew up in. And ever since Arlene passed, I've felt like a 2nd class relative. They wouldn't "get" playing the widowed card because I really think they all buy into the 1 year myth. I've tried to explain to them but their eyes glaze up and they just tune me out.
The only wedding I think I would go to right now is if it was one of my nephews.
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Comment by vintage56(barb) on October 28, 2019 at 6:50am
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Hi Don - how close are you to your cousin? I would do what Barbee says, if anyone asks, say, "I'm still not up to weddings, it's too sad for me." Or say it proactively to your cousin (if they are female) or cousin's wife. I think women are more understanding.
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Comment by laurajay on October 17, 2019 at 5:01pm
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Barbee- you put it succinctly . A card or gift sent with best wishes and statement you will be unable to attend is sufficient. BTW if you received a printed invitation in the mail it probably had a return reply card so they can plan head count for the meal. You would indicate " Regrets, unable to attend... and list 0 where it asks number attending. NO explanation needed. Just be sure you give your name.
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My Cousin's son. Trouble is, I see them at holidays, which this is in the middle of.
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Comment by barbee on October 17, 2019 at 12:27pm
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Well Don, you didn't say what the relationship is. You'd need to handle it differently if it was your daughter rather than a friend from work. I'm assuming somewhere in the middle. A wise someone (maybe Eleanore Roosvelt?) once said "Never complain. Never explain." That rule doesn't always work, but often remembering it gives me enough time so I don't blurt something without thinking. Why not simply send a card (with or without a check) and just say "Sorry I will be unable to be with you on your special day". There is nothing that requires you to accept an invitation to anything. Good luck!
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