Well it has been 1 year now. I lost my love on 1-3 of 2013. I am so glad to be in a new year, Im not sure why, I still feel the same, but I suppose just to be done with the worse year of my life. I still cant wrap my head around it sometimes, I cant believe I have been alone for a year. I am glad to be past the year mark, not that I think anything magical will happen, and I will be suddenly healed, but just to know that I made it a year. It shows me that I can make it 2, 3, 5, 10, and so on. I will make it, I have to. I have no choice. It has been a tough journey thus far, and will continue to be. I have had to learn new things, such as cooking and cleaning, shopping for our girls, and trying to learn how to be alone. That is the hard part. I could really care less about all of the stuff like cooking and cleaning, I just miss my best friend, my supporter, my companion, my lover, my confidant, my teacher, my love, my wife! I don't feel like the pain has lessened any, I think I have just learned to live with it better. Friday was the 3rd, and her accident happened at 9 in the evening, around that time on Friday my insides felt like they did after I learned of her accident. I feel like the inside of me is all twisted up. It still hasn't let up, they still feel like that off and on as I remember last year. I feel so alone! The one person who could bring me comfort isn't here for me. It is also hard going into a new year at the same time Im glad to be finished with 2013. Although she only seen a few days of last year, this is the first year without her in it. The first of many to come, something I have to get used to. Whether I like it or not, this is who I am now.