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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

15 years ago was the Saturday before the Superbowl.  Was also the day Patrick and I got married.  Back then Patrick did audio for live sports, and was supposed to work the Superbowl.  He never let me forget that he gave up working it just to marry me. 

When we set the date we didn't know it was Superbowl weekend.  Let me tell you Superbowl weekend in Vegas is HORRIBLE!

My mom, my sister, and I got stuck in traffic from the salon to the hotel.  I ended up having 15 minutes to get dressed, makeup done, and get back downstairs to meet the limo.  Not to mention my mom and sister needed to get dressed too.  I still have no idea to this day how we all got done in such a short time.

I also learned that day that Patrick, his brother, and my uncle all lied to me when they told me they told me they tried their tuxes on.  Had they actually tried them on they would have seen that they were given shiny, sparkly fire engine red stripper vests instead of the teal ones I picked out.  So they spent all morning going from tux shop trying to find one that had teal vests in their sizes.

Had he shown up in the red ones, like his brother suggested, I would have married him and then killed him.

Today my friends made sure I wasn't alone.  We went to lunch, a movie, and some shopping therapy.  But they all went home to their husbands, and I'm alone now.  Other than the sound of kids trying to kill each other in the background.

I know this day would have been hard no matter what, but its even harder knowing that this Saturday was supposed to be the day we renewed our vows.  I've been trying to focus on all that my kids have been doing the last couple of days so I won't focus on what I would have been doing now. 

I'll just be glad when this day is over.

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Comment by Lori on January 26, 2013 at 10:26pm

(((sam))) love the picture

Comment by Suz on January 25, 2013 at 5:19pm


Patrick was such a handsome man. I don't think I have seen a picture of him. I keep running into pictures of your two kids with the sign on Facebook. Every time I see it, I want to cry. Their sweet faces and poignant plea just breaks my heart. 

It seems like a lot of us are having anniversaries right now. Yesterday was eleven months since Jud died...though I had my head in the fog and thought it was today. I know just what you mean about having friends be so nice and then going home all alone. I wish they could do this differently but I have thought it over many ways and I am not sure what they really can do except bring out husbands back. How I wish.

Thinking of you and glad your anniversary day is over. As usual, I really appreciated what you wrote.



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