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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

  Well, I've made it through most of the second set of holidays. Charlies birthday would have been Jan,6th. He would have been 64.  That's the end of the biggies till May which will be Mothers Day, my birthday and would have been our 46th anniversary.

  There are days I don't think I'll ever be really happy again. Then there are days I believe I've put my grief behind me. Oh what pranksters our minds are. It's different day to day, week to week, month to month.

  I am resolved to not let my widowhood define who I am. I am resolved to be a strong woman, independent and resourceful.

 

 

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Comment by smp1122 on January 22, 2015 at 10:32am

It's like you are reading my mind.

Comment by Phyllis on January 11, 2015 at 9:03am

Charlies Wife, I have also come through another set of holidays with everything intact.  Don died August 2012, just two weeks before our 43rd anniversary.  I am now convinced I am going to be okay with a new life, even though it's not the one I want.  Don't ask me how I'll feel tomorrow; like you said, my confidence is different from day to day.  I have been going to a grief support group since last summer, and even though most of the others in the group have not been widowed much longer than me, they seem to be so much smarter about how all this works. They all seem to know where they are in this whole awful journey and if they are ready to move on.  I don't know where I stand until recently, if I should be feeling my loss more sharply, if that makes any sense.  But our facilitator gave out a booklet last meeting that just put everything I was wondering about into a simple sentence. Remember when Charlie first died, all you wanted to talk about was him and the events surrounding his death?  I know that's all I wanted, and this booklet said "the path to healing starts with having all the time necessary to tell the whole story until you no longer need to do so."  That sentence just hit me with so much clarity.  Finally, something concrete to let me know where I stand! I started examining my feelings and decided that I'm getting to that point of healing.  That brought a great deal of relief to me.  The author is Doug Manning, The Reality of Grief, and it seems this a continuing course.  This came out of Book 2.  I'm going to try to find the other books (they appear to be a series of small booklets).  Good luck to you.

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