3 Months

Comment

Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on August 5, 2012 at 10:07pm

OH Coco,  you are so brave!  yes, i echo some other comments here.  The first the months i was barely functional. And I remember before i moved from the house..how torturous it was..the emptiness..the quietness..the absence. The reality sets in and it is Gut and soul wrenching.  Please, continue to bitch!  WE get it!  Its okay and know that we WANT to hear you.  Get it out hon, get it all out. It helps us..to know we are not alone.

Comment by Suz on August 5, 2012 at 3:04pm

Dear Coco,

You are not bitching at all. You have honestly and thoughtfully told us how life is for you and we all understand. The death of your husband is horrific and I am surprised you have been able to go to a bereavement class this early. Keep coming and getting whatever need off your chest. We are hear to listen to you and to be there for you.

Fondly,

Suz

Comment by Nurse on August 5, 2012 at 11:00am

I fully understand my husband died suddenly sitting at his computer the shock is unbearable and the loneliness is awful

Comment by dazed on August 3, 2012 at 5:02pm

At 3 months I was a walking zombie just going through the motions. I could not have attended a bereavement class if there was one. There wasn't one where I lived.  I went to work and went home and cried.  Got up the next day and did the same thing.  You are doing great! Be kind to yourself and don't make any big decisions for at least 18 months if you don't have to. Maybe you could rent out your home and test the waters in a new place.

Comment by Cristina on August 3, 2012 at 11:53am

You feel free to come here and let out everything you need to share, Coco.  We will be your witnesses, we will always understand and never judge you for what you are going through or what you want to express.  Yes, with time, the shock does lessen and that means it gets more real, more sharply painful in some ways.  But, in some ways we are better able to handle the truth after the subconscious has had time to work on it for a while, methinks.  Seems like this is how our minds work, giving us the cushion of months of shock to ease us into our new reality.  Yes, like Vicki said, the tears are healing and even, among some, considered sacred, as our own cleansing waters...let 'em rip.  At 16 months, mine still fall everyday.  After time, I found myself sobbing one minute and up doing dishes the next, not knowing when the one ended and the next began...or sobbing, and, still crying, taking up the broom and sweeping the floor or taking out trash...it just has become a part of my existence, the tears.  I remember when Billie was sick, I was always penciling back in my eyeliner, after crying it off...one day I found myself in the bathroom, penciling it in and crying it back off at the same time.  I was kinda deep in exhaustion, but I did manage to notice the irony...best wishes to you for lessening the isolation...lean on your friends here, we are a family of sorts, united in this terrifically trying ordeal we all are going through.  My heart is with you. 

Comment by Poppys Girl on August 2, 2012 at 8:01pm

Hi,

Had to respond....don't be so hard on yourself, there is no time limit on grieving. It will be two years in September that my husband died suddenly. He also was not sick. When I look back I do see how far I have come but even now I miss him so very much. Hang in there and if there are tears let them fall. Tears are healing. I started a journal and write my feelings, sometime I write to my husband. It helps, there are pages of sorrow, hope, fear, being lonely. Take care and God Bless

Vicki (Poppy's Girl)

Comment by NC Coco on August 2, 2012 at 5:04pm

Hi Sue and KK - I am free almost any weekend in August.  How can we exchange phone numbers?

Comment by suebru (Sue) on August 2, 2012 at 3:20pm

Hi KK, I don't know Charlie but yes, it is a small world!

Comment by suebru (Sue) on August 2, 2012 at 3:18pm

Oh my goodness, Nini! I just connected the dots! You are "coco" :-)  So, let's all get together soon! What weekend are you ladies (KK)  free?

Comment by suebru (Sue) on August 2, 2012 at 3:14pm

Hi Nini! So glad you found me here and so happy you have found this site-it has helped me so much.

Myself, and KK (below), are trying to schedule a time to meet-hopefully an upcoming weekend in August. Would you like to join us? I will try to help you with the Private Messaging. Have you checked out the *chat now* link above? I jump on there from time to time. It's a great place to connect instantly with others who are traveling this journey together. Hugs, Sue :-)

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