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I'm just sad today, like every other day. It's been about 6 1/2 months, closer to 7, that my husband passed away. I really need him right now i feel like-i'm so sad he's not here with me. I have his …

I'm just sad today, like every other day. It's been about 6 1/2 months, closer to 7, that my husband passed away. I really need him right now i feel like-i'm so sad he's not here with me. I have his pictures to remind me of the good person that he was. I'm glad we were able to tell each other that we loved each other before he passed.  He died of Cancer. We were married 17 years. It wasn't all smooth sailing w/our relationship or financials or any of that, but he was with me through it now i'm alone. This past fall, end of Aug. I got very depressed when someone i had met on my husband's facebook and developed a serious crush on unfriended me. I had thought about hurting myself b/c this man had become my main support and the only way i could cope from day to day was to get his messages and phone calls.If i had been patient the man did write me later that day on email, but i had already told my son's in home therapist that i was thinking of hurting myself. We thought we got a plan in place for my son to stay at a friend's house. I thought his therapist was handling everything w/the plans and she drove me to the hospital and had me admitted. The plan for my son backfired when he came to the house to feed the cat and didn't have a ride back to his friend's. Social Services were called and he's been in their custody every since. The court said I needed to make the arrangements myself and had talked to the mother myself. I ended up being gone 6 days. I wanted to come home as soon as i got to the hospital but it was too late and i had no rights anymore. So mow i am without my husband and my son and i cry all the time. I get to see my son once a week but our supervised phone calls are always tampered by the mean foster man they put my son with. I have PTSD and the man is so mean when i call and he's not at home to make the calls and he hassles me every time about why so I need to talk to my son. Now we're trying to do it where my son calls me but it's too early to tell if it will get any better. But that's really all I have to look forward to are the calls and visits and i miss him so much. I'm still talking to the man that unfriended me.  I still feel like i love him, but i've gotten less dependent on him which is good. He's very ill so he can't be very reliable. I don't really have but a couple of acquaintances that i can try to talk to. I've been going to a church and going to one of the groups trying to meet people but it's still just at the acquaintance stages with that. Financially i'm in trouble and still have many things to do for the courts. I just have a lot going on-a mess of a house i can't afford to maintain etc. and I'm just sad. Today I am grieving my husband's death and i wish he was here to comfort me. 

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