I am new at joining Widowed Village. I have been reading everyone's blogs for about a year now. It does help to see what other people are going through also. My husband and I were married three months shy of 46 years I met him when I was 14 and he was 15. He lost his parents at age 15. We were separated for 2 years and then starting seeing each other again at which point he went into the Navy for three years. We were married when I was 20 and he was 21. We have two sons age 45 and 40. One wonderful grandson, Jordan who is 16 1/2. My 40 year old son and grandson live with me since my son got divorced.
My husband had his first heart attack at age 38. Then through the years had two more heart attacks, quadruple bypss surgery, 4 defibrillators, flesh eating bacteria on his hand and arm (which I thought would kill him but he survived). He died from complications 1 1/2 years ago Nov. 2013 from complications of three major surgeries. He really didn't stand a chance of surviving. I still think I have not fully accepted that he is gone. I know he is gone but just live each day one at a time.
I was a caregiver for my parents and husband for the last 28 years until his death. So I don't know any other kind of life at this time. I will figure it out when I am ready but for now I work full-time and am losing my job at the end of June. They say everything happens for a reason. I hope it will be a good one for me.
My husband was cremated and was a die-hard "GIANT"S fan. First I asked my sons and grandson if they wanted his ashes in the house or outside. They all agreed to inside.
So I went to "Build-A-Bear" and had his ashes put inside a teddy bear. He was a big man and this was the only one that h\is ashes would fit into. I put the GIANTS football outfit on him and took a picture. The woman at Build-A-Bear said that I could have a good time with him. I have to get 6 months baby clothes for the bear. I dressed him up for Xmas and everyone said it is the cutest thing they have ever seen. He is the best dressed bear around.
It makes it so much easier to accept that he is gone. I don't have to look at a box or an urn. So for me and my sons I think it was a good choice. I hope that when I am finished with work I can get a computer at home that I can continue to write and read all of your blogs.