Hi Diva, thank you for your kind words. Sometimes it is like I am under water and struggling to come up for air. It seems I am crying more now after 10 months than I did in the earlier months. Maybe it has something to do with Christmas coming up. Even at 78 I was still IN love with Gil. We had a wonderful life together and I am sorry we didn’t meet sooner so we could have had longer together. In hindsight 26 years was not enough.what I miss the most is thr feel of his arms around me and his goodnight kiss. Also the sound of his voice and not being able to touch him. I am crying as I am typing this. The funny thing is I don’t long for the man he was before he died, i remember him as he was when we were younger and he was so vibrant and funny. I hope I can get through Christmas without a complete meltdown, i hate the way I feel and long to be strong again. I know I will never get over the loss but hope it will lessen over time. Best wishes to you.