Thought I would share a 6-month widow update with you:
I survived what would have been our 14 year anniversary on Jan 10th. I take one day at a time and just allow myself to cry, laugh and embrace this journey as God equips me for what lies ahead. Today was a bit rough because I was on the treadmill and glanced over at the spot where his hospice bed used to be. Now I have been on the treadmill plenty of times since his death but today it hit me. I recall the last time I was on it and glanced over to see him watching me run and gently smiling.
He was trying to say something to me. I paused and went over to him and leaned down...he whispered, "you're already beautiful, you don't need to do that" I just laughed, kissed him and went back to exercising. But today, there was no him to kiss, only very fond memories of those special moments that we often take for granted until we don't have them anymore. I could only keep exercising and crying tears of something as I longed to hear him say those words today.
I miss him but I thank GOD for every memory that keeps our love going strong even beyond death!