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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

God took my husband to be with him 6 weeks ago today. Let me first tell you that we grew up together in a small town in Tennessee. We married young I was 17 he was 18. The odds were against us for that very reason, but we made it 33 years together. His death was sudden, no worning at all. Our oldest daughters mother in law has passed away and she and her husband had to go to Houston Tx to tend to her and her matters. I and my mother went to my daughters to stay with the grandkids as the oldest had to go to school and the drive to her school was 45 mins morning and afternoon. So we elected to stay at my daughters that week. Terry my husband worked from home most of the time, he was a Systems Admin for a leading telephone company so it allowed him to work remotely. I was at my daughters for 5 days. I came home often to check on him and the dog almost everyday. On that Wednesday I had not come down because I had just been home the day before and got him everything he would need for a day or two..But after several attempts to reach him that day I got the feeling something was really wrong. I finished making the kids dinner and left to come home. The whole 45 min drive was in dread as I could feel something bad had happened. When I came home and opened the door I yelled out for him. I went to the basement door and yelled down to his office but he didnt answer. I knew for sure at that point. I just could not go down the steps so I went and got my neighbor to go down for me. His wife came with him and I am so thankful that she did because he went down and found my husband dead. He died peacfully, his hands still on his computer and sitting there like he was working. After an autopsy it was revealed that his heart was enlarged and had just stopped beating. My whole world changed at that very momment. It was like half of me had been ripped off and left bleeding. I miss him so much. We had 3 great kids together and a whole life of wonderful, love, fights, sicknesses and the stress of raising our kids. I would do it all again every bit of it. 

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Comment by tanya on June 16, 2012 at 5:28pm

thank you so much everyone. I find that everyday is a different. One day I am really sad and the next I am doing just fine.i bought a new house (just cant live here anymore, just not home without him) and that is keeping me pretty busy but nights are kinda lonely as everyone of you know...I am sorry for your loss too and I know exactly how each of you feel. It is nice to be able to talk with those that know

Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on June 15, 2012 at 9:00pm

Very sorry for your loss Tanya.  This is a difficult journey. be kind and gentle with yourself.  We are here for you.

Comment by kimkirt (KK) on June 15, 2012 at 4:34am

I'm so sorry Tanya, HUGS to you as you join us on the journey. I hope that coming here helps you to find some peace and comfort. 

Comment by Lisa (lost) Lamb on June 14, 2012 at 2:08am

I'm so sorry for your loss Tanya, this is all so fresh for you. I just past my one year mark but I remember every painful day starting with the day my husband first got sick. I know it doesn't feel like it but time does help. Be kind to yourself and move at you own pace. Only you know the best way to grieve for your husband. It took me awhile to stop listening to everyone else and do what I needed, things have been better sense I started doing what I needed no matter how crazy everyone thought I was.(((Hugs)))

Comment by tanya on June 13, 2012 at 12:35pm

my husband also seen the doc on a regular basis. But in hide sight I saw little changes in him for about 6 months..sleeping in more being tired all the time and never wanting to do anything but work and sleep. He would take his blood pressure often and most of the time it was pretty normal. But one night about 3 months ago he got up to go to the bathroom and was so dizzy he fell to the floor. Scared the crap out of me! but figured he had a little too much tequila before bed and we laughed it off. Wish I had know then what i know now. LaurieR you situation sounds so simular to mine and thank you 

Comment by LaurieR on June 13, 2012 at 12:22pm

I am at 66 days today.  I think sometimes when we spend so much time with our spouse that we know when something is wrong.  I know this is going to sound weird but Ron tasted differently in the last couple months.  He had high blood pressure and went to the Doctor every 3 months for the last 5 years.  But when my son came in yelling, I knew he was gone.  I was hoping against all hope he could be revived but somewhere deep inside me I knew he was gone.  I would do it all again too.  But maybe I would be more patient and kinder.

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