Is this a new phase i am going into?...probably.
I am not mad or angry. But I am starting to feel frustration.
I have been looking into things I can do, groups I can join....to keep busy and somewhat social. I admit I am having some anxiety about that.
Meeting new people and having to tell the story, which then again brings the raw emotions to the surface. feeling frustration that I have to go through this.
Well, I don't HAVE to....but I can't just be a lump on a log and just looking for more chores to do. But i need to do more. It's lonely now, and I don't like it.
Not looking for romance, but need some socializing. Feeling a little guilt along with that frustration too. I need to do more, but honestly I don't feel like
expending the emotional energy to meet people. This is so weird.
Ahhh man....this just really sucks. You start coming out of one phase, the fog starts to clear and into another.
I am frustrated I have to go through this......but ohhhh poor me, right? Suck it up!
I am not the one that battled cancer for 4 years and lost a life. Crap....I'm all messed up.
Riding the roller coaster and spinning in circles at the same time......and survivors guilt.
Maybe I should start drinking and drowned my sorrows....that's what all the songs seem to say.
Ha, yeah right. I am such a light weight. Two beers and I'm ready for a nap. A six pack lasts me about 2 months in the summer....LOL
Alright, enough complaining. Get some sleep and try again tomorrow.