Well, I just found a site online that looks like it'll be okay. I apparently get to "count" as a widow there. We couldn't marry, or Howard would have lost his Medicare. It would have affected his disability. But the fact that he was my partner, and we were planning on being together - we just couldn't say, "I do" - is apparently enough. So I'm going to add the old journal entries I wrote so I can post them there on my new blog. We'll see how that goes.
But it's nice to have the validation that it's okay to be broken, even though we couldn't get married.
So the previous entries chronologically were all just me writing in notepad. Names have been shortened to protect identities. And we'll see where we go from here.