My Roses 27th October
In all this chaos of longing for my Wes, I have said I am not sure I can go on being this stressed and foggy brained. Being this different person and spending years like this. So about 10 days ago sat and thought about the Widows comments made on this site. The tentative journey in meeting someone else. And should we do so. But it is not a comfortable situation. We still love our beloved . We are bouncing back and forward in our grief from loss to aching for the loneliness to go. To what might it be like with someone new. Yet wanting our beloved back. How can we fill the empty space in our heart and in our home.
So decided to look at it very matter of factly: What would I look for in a new companion? This is all a mental exercise folks not from the heart. But I would make a list to try and sort out the longing from the need to tackle this subject once and for all. So what criteria would I have?
I realise it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY to be like the former Love of Your Life Relationship
1. I think they would have to be a widower… No one else would have the compassion/understanding.
2. Age would not really matter could be younger than me.
3. Usual sharing of thoughts, values, interests.
4. Spiritual aspect… would this companionship jeapardise my former
Love of Life Relationship in eternity? Have to ask God about that! As we do have a Covenant
Companionship with our soul mate. Eternity with him is too precious to throw away.
5. Should really ask God to find this new companion so it would not jeapardise Item 4.
6. Be able to show affection and love.
7. Be able to love me even though I have been dragged through a hedge backwards!
8. I must be able to look fondly upon him and think of him as a lovely person and a godly soul.
9. Similar looks would play a part (not going to be rigid about this) but could withstand a change of hair colour!
10. Must have blue eyes I think.
11. Feel we would need to be playful after all this serious bereavement stuff which is
taking the “stuffing” out of us.
12. Not have step children who are going to oppose every possibility of us
being together or happy. Also for me to be able to love his children.
13 As a Christian - marriage would have to take place… (it is written no
sexuality before marriage) – as God is definitely not impressed with this. This also presents some problems.
At least it is better than marrying again when the former husband is still alive. God calls that adultery and a sin.
14. So where does that leave me after all these practicalities? Have I left anything out of this list? Oh Yes ...
15. Likes to travel and is looking for peace and an end to this intense suffering.
16. It may not be a Love of Your Life… but at least we would be attracted to each other and I would feel
comfortable in his arms.
17. Care and honour our previous beloveds together. ( Remember Anniversaries etc)
18. Be able to make wise decisions of where we would live together .