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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

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‘There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve — even in pain — the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.’

– Dietrich Bonhoeffer

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Comment by Rockon on July 15, 2017 at 1:59pm

Thank you Debbie for sharing this beautiful post! So many times I tell myself to be grateful for all that has passed through my life over the seven plus years Richard has been gone. And I ALWAYS thank him for loving me. I know he is with me in spirit and there is nothing on this earth that can change that feeling of love and comfort from within. God Bless you and Peace and Comfort be with you.

Comment by TxDD on July 8, 2017 at 8:23am
Debbie - This has touched me to my inner soul and the words are so true. In the 12 hours since we were introduced, you have had a huge impact in my support. I pray I can be there for you and encourage/listen. Thank you for sharing this, and it is truly a "Get It" piece.
Comment by WithoutJim on July 3, 2017 at 5:05pm

So absolutely true. Gratitude for what we had is what fills me with joy and saves me from despair. Thanks for sharing.

Comment by ashleynicole8378 on June 28, 2017 at 7:24pm
Love this!!! We just passed father's day, and that would've also been 12 years since me and my dear Mark officially became a couple. I was depressed about father's day (our son was only 1 when Mark passed) but then I realized that it was also the 18th and I Got to thinking about the early days of our relationship and how lucky we were that it worked out. We met online in yahoo chat before meeting online was common, lived 3 hours away, and had an 8 year age difference. The age difference was a big deal at 18 and 26. I couldn't imagine where I'd be if I'd never met Mark, or if we met but never worked out as a couple. His love for me gave me confidence at a time in my life when I really needed it. I'm so grateful for 11 and a half years with him and for our awesome son. Doesn't keep me from missing him like crazy though.
Comment by Callie2 on June 26, 2017 at 12:43pm
Debbie--No truer words have ever been spoken, IMO. Especially those last two sentences--the gratitude is what I believe, can have healing effect. Thanks for sharing.

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