A story of love, hope, and God's Love for us.
One week before Christmas 2012 Joe was diagnosed with liver cancer and we were devastated by the news. In shock we instinctively went through our Christmas rituals. After Christmas we started our grieving process, first we held each other and cried not believing this could really be happening, then we got mad vowing to fight this with everything we had. We traveled so that Joe could get the best treatments we could find. He endured treatment after treatment never wanting to give up, our deep love for one another kept us from showing the unimaginable pain we were feeling to each other. I was trying to be strong for him, and he was trying to be strong for me so not to upset the other. I spent just about every night crying in the shower where I thought I wouldn't be heard. I asked God why. Why couldn't it have been me, why would you do this to such a loving and kind man, why would you take him from me and our family.
Joe faced his illness with grace and dignity. His only concern was my well being, that I would be ok without him there to protect and care for me. This unselfish and unconditional love that we had, and continue to have because this kind of love is everlasting, it is the true root of a happy marriage. The willingness to put another person's happiness and well being ahead of anything else is the most beautiful gift you can ever give. Because if the happiness of the other person is most important you will never be disappointed. This is the love that God has for us, an unselfish and unconditional love that is never ending. Put your full faith in God and you will never be disappointed.
After Joes passing I felt I had lost everything and had nothing left to live for. How could I survive without him. I would cry in my prayers every night asking God why would you take him from me. What have I done. Why couldn't you have taken me. But then I realized that I loved Joe so much that I would never have wanted him to feel the pain I was feeling.
Before this happened I had faith, or what I thought was faith, but it was not an absolute faith. I went through my life trying to be a good person, but never having that certain and unconditional faith. Through small signs God spoke to me letting me know that I was not alone, that my husband was still with me, that we would be together again, and that it wasn't my time and that He had more for me to accomplish.
I have found strength and comfort in God's promise that we will be together again and of God's love for me. I continue praying to God for guidance, what do you have in mind for me, what good could come from such pain. Through this devastating pain He has given me the gift of absolute faith. Faith in Him and His unconditional and unselfish love for us. I believe He has called me to spread this message of His love for all of us. That this is the secret of true happiness. Show the same love He has for us to one another. You will never be disappointed.
In loving memory
For the unconditional and unselfish Love that he gave me.