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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I was alone for Mother's Day but did get the texts from my sons and a phone call from my daughter and spoke to both of her children so I was okay. Ray never made much of Mother's Day , I was the one who bought the presents for us all and nice cards for our Mums so my boys followed him in that. Boys need a good example to be set for them.  It was one of his failings I guess that he didn't see the example he was setting.  He always said he showed he cared by the way he worked for us not by the gifts he gave us.

Winter is fast approaching here now, cold nights but the days are still nice apart from the cooler southerly winds. (Think your north, our south...lol.) I am getting out as much as I can, gardening , sweeping up leaves as I have some deciduous trees as well as gum trees. Pots are slowly getting topped up or upgraded. I don't have my full energy back yet so it is only an hour at a time. I figure just do as much as I can, wish I was fully functional again but I'm not. As usual I am impatient and want to be back to normal, whatever that will be.

The visit to the Lymphoedema Clinic was disappointing, no real help, so I am going to have to be proactive and work out some of my most pressing solutions. Seems there is a lot of knowledge due to the research done on behalf of breast cancer sufferers but not into post-operative melanoma. So I have to find where I can get appropriate pressure garments etc. No sense in worrying about it, like with Ray's post stroke treatment it is research and discovery that counts.

I haven't resumed my former duties at church, I need to get stronger first.  I am going to my daughter's for a couple of days soon and then the second Dissection Clinic visit comes at the end of the month. Having three monthly visits is a nuisance in some ways but it is a place where I can ask a question and maybe get some answers. I am hoping as time goes by more answers will be available, the treatment of melanoma to maintain it at stage three is still in early stages, previously people just died of it. Just talking to my sister-in-law in Queensland, she has a wider circle of country friends so has a higher incidence of melanoma among her acquaintances. Maybe she will find out more for me. 

Apart from that my life goes on from day to day. Yes, I am still lonely. I go out to morning tea or lunch a couple of times a week, catch up with friends, I am back at Lions and enjoying the dinners.  I worked on one of our fundraising BBQs on Monday and managed to do a four hour shift. It is good to be back. I missed the comraderie Lions brings into my life. The laughter, the silly fines, the catching up with the news of family and friends we have in common, it makes a difference in my life.

And so life goes on......

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Comment by only1sue on May 28, 2018 at 4:21am

I had a call from the Lymphoedema nurse this morning, she had a wrap that would act like a garter to help with the thigh part of the pressure stocking. I went to the Clinic and she gave me the wrap, it is strictly for the flight. We are going to trial a different type of pressure stocking for everyday use.That doesn't solve the whole problem but will make it less urgent. The nurse I saw was a different nurse to thet ones I saw on my first visit. She was very nice. Pity I couldn't have had her on my first visit.

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on May 24, 2018 at 6:23am

My daughter has purchased good medical compression garments off of ebay for her MS, however, her preferance is the Under Armor sportswear. She says the high impact bras & shorts are sturdier, last longer & more flexible w/out feeling constricted while cycling & for everyday wear. Just don't put any of it in a hot dryer, it ruins the compression elastic. You might want to check out quality sportswear - lots of great clothing for people w/injuries as well as made to protect from all sorts of weather conditions.
Good luck ...

Comment by only1sue on May 24, 2018 at 4:30am

Thanks Barbee and Callie. I know I have to think outside the square with this situation, the medical professionals tend to use what they are familiar with so maybe  I need to look for someone in sports medicine as the pressure garment I need might be found there. It is certainly not a one size fits all situation.  I'll ask around, one of my friends might come up with some new idea.

Comment by barbee on May 19, 2018 at 5:07pm

Sue, have some patience with yourself. I'm not fighting any illness and your schedule wears me out just reading about it!

As to garments for lymphodema, have you looked online? There are dozens of reliable medical catalogs that sell adaptive equipment. It might be pricey to ship to Australia, but if it works, it might be a try. When you go back to the clinic, be sure to ask if they have any resources that might help. I firmly believe that we are in charge of our own bodies and more than once have educated a doctor or dentist about something new.

Take good care of yourself.

Comment by Callie2 on May 18, 2018 at 1:41pm

Glad to hear you’re making progress. It seems you are doing okay considering all you’ve been through. Stamina wiil come back, I am sure! Good to stay involved with the Lions, sounds like you have some friends there where you can just be yourself. Laughter is truly the best medicine.

Weather has not been so great here, we have had rain all week and I think more to come this weekend. Sun peeked out for just a bit today and the wind picked up, blowing those maple seed pods (noses) all over creation! They are hitting the back windows so hard, sounds like someone trying to get in. Glad for this little “lull” in the weather, we have had enough rain for a while. It does make everything lush and green though! Fall is a nice time of year too, I love the smell of falling leaves.

Hoping you find solutions for the garments you are searching for. Surely they are available somewhere. Do you have there medical supplies shops? I would think they would have experts to help fit you with something appropriate. Wish you luck with that!

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