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A Widow’s View: 5 New Year's Resolutions to Wholeness

Ladies, it’s that time of year again when another year is getting closer, Christmas is over and now it’s time to celebrate yet another holiday without your husband. The good thing is, you have made it so far so give yourself a pat on the back!

As the new year approaches, I realize it can be difficult emotionally, and even physically and financially. Don’t fret, let’s just see how we can get through this together.

This will be my third year  1) going into the New Year without my significant other and 2) completing another year without my significant other. I know, it sounds the same, right? No. They are two completely different realities.

So, how are you supposed to cope when another round of 365 days is just around the corner? Well, I’ve developed a few action items I would like for you to follow to help you cope with your end-of-holiday blues:

Focus on the natural 

What are your gifts and talents? If you have not used these often, well it’s time to piggyback back on what made you ‘you’ in the first place. Find that niche that initially developed you but you allowed to slip. Get back into your groove and dance to your own tunes!

Recognize your worth: Shine Bright!

Let’s look at the diamond. Did you know that the a diamond is the ultimate gemstone which has few weaknesses and many strengths? Did you know that when it’s transparent and free from flaws, it is highly valued as a precious stone? Did you know that the name diamond is derived from the ancient Greek adamas which means invincible? Enough said!

Accept your reality

As much as I hate to write this (because I alone have felt prey to this saying) but “he’s gone and we can’t bring him back.” If you can’t accept this, then I would advise you to seek counseling, seek your faith and pray. Once you accept this reality, then you can finally live.


EXERCISE. SMILE. GIGGLE. LAUGH. Depending on your personality, it can hinder or help. Think of it as aligning your face to make you look and feel better. Besides, did you know it helps with your overall health? Yep, so you really should try this as often as you can. Live for you. Live for your family.

Plan Wholeness Goals

We all know that as a new year approaches, we perform the same ritual; we set goals. And guess what? Nothing is wrong with that. So, what’s a wholeness goal? It’s a goal that will make you feel and look better all around. More importantly, it’s a goal that will feed your mind the fuel that it needs. Sit back and think about the prior year. Out of all of the lessons you’ve learned, which one lesson stood out? What second lesson stood out? Focus on those lessons and write an action plan on how not to do it again. Think on this one question, “how will this plan make me the total woman I need to be to not do this again?” and work it girl! 


Sabra is a certified Parakaleo Christian Counselor with New Beginnings Church and is seeking certification in becoming a Career, Life and Executive Leadership Coach. She has attended Gordon-Conwell Seminary and received her certificate in General Theology from Oral Roberts University. Sabra is also the author of The Lost Sheep: How I Got Over the Hump, an anthology about church hurt. As a former founder and host of two conferences (Work and Life Christian Conference and the African American Children’s Writers and Illustrators conference), she is eager to set the path to future life-changing forums.  Although she lost her husband, Herb, in 2012 from his battle with Lupus and Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, she is determined to live life to the fullest and start over with a brand new ending. She currently lives in Charlotte, North Carolina with  her children.

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