I'm sitting here on Sunday morning thinking about last night's event.
It was a fundraiser for a school I used to work at. It was great to see people from my past and reconnect with them.
When I reached the table where I was assigned to sit it was awkward. The table had already filled up except for one spot. I sat down next to seemingly nice woman who greeted me with "We singles will be sitting together."
Now I didn't ask why she was there alone and she didn't ask why I was either. We could both have been attending without husbands on purpose. Mine never liked going to those things anyway.
Her remark still stung. I wanted to yell at her and say, "I'm not single, I'm a widow." Thankfully I had enough sense to only say that in my head.
A couple of people asked me if I was married yet, probably because the last time I saw them I had just started to date an old friend. That didn't work out, so no I'm not married and it's okay, thanks for asking? That remark didn't sting so much but it also seemed like such an odd thing to be the first thing to ask me.
Here are the two things I'm trying to reconcile with myself this morning: 1. Why do I feel like I need to distinguish myself as a widow versus being single or divorced? 2. Is it better to remain silent to avoid unintentionally hurting someone's feelings with an off-handed remark?