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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

"It's just a date on a calendar."  she said.  

But on this date everything about my life changed. 

I mark time by that date.  Everything is before it or after it.

I try to make it an ordinary day.  I do everything I usually do.  Inside my head I'm screaming. My eyes get watery. 

I wish someone else remembered the importance of this day to me.  I so wish someone who shared the pain I felt that day would reach out to me and say "I miss him too."  

He left me with gifts to treasure. There will be more gifts to discover when I'm ready.

I miss sharing this life I have now with him and I know the life I have now is so different because it's without him. 

And it is without him I mark this date on the calendar.

 

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Comment by Doug02122014 on April 16, 2015 at 5:38am
I so love the way you summed this up.

If I could add to this I would compare our losses to the calendar system in tracking the years.

BC = Before Christ, AD = After Death.

Or

BL = Before Loss, AL = After Loss. You get the gist.

I don't like using the words "death & died" for some reason.

Ali has it right in that only someone who is a member of this club will "get it" and understand.

Thanks for posting this.

Take care.

Doug
Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on April 15, 2015 at 6:20pm
I'm not sure who said that to you, but it IS an important date. And it DOES matter. It is the dividing line between worlds apart. Some do not understand. But we do.

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