You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
That line of a song struck me. Am I addicted to the sadness and meloncoly if losing my soulmate? How long will it last ?will it really be til the end? And why am I ok with this? The song was talking about someone with a relationship that ended. This line the only one that really factored into my life. Or will eventually the song ring true in a diff since will gene become just someone that I use to know. What would he want for me?
I am certain with the love we shared he will never ever be just someone I use to know, but the over all sadness. Is it true I have become addicted to this certain kind of sadness? Had never thought if it that way. Gene always said he taught me to be happy. He did he was. I had lost my sense of joy. I found it again with him. That joy is difficult to even pretend to maintain without him. He took my black and white and made it a rainbow. How to I keep his rainbow in sight? How do I learn to live with my addiction while still living because it is what my gene would want me to do? It's what he would want for his baby daughter. How do I do this? Signed --addicted to sadness